The Best Cures for Loneliness

An estimated 31 million Americans lived alone as of 2010.

Many people find themselves alone because of a change of circumstance: a spouse died, children flew the nest, a divorce occurred or a job-related move was required to a new town. This kind of loneliness can be temporary or permanent, depending on what you do about it. Loneliness can feed on itself and grow stronger. The more you're alone, the more you expect to be alone and doubt your ability to attract the companionship of others.

Change Your Habits

"Psychology Today" quotes an analysis of 50 loneliness interventions, or therapy approaches. According to the analysis, the best cure for loneliness is to put an end to the self-fulfilling prophecy that you are alone. When you're standing in the checkout line at the supermarket, make a comment to the person in front of you. Almost invariably, that person will join you in some level of communication and you've taken one small step toward breaking your negative belief that nobody wants to talk to you. Remember, every relationship begins with a few exchanged words.

Go Where Other People Go

Millions of Americans are just as alone as you are. Find them. They're not all sitting at home by themselves. They may be at a library reading group, at a Parents Without Partners meeting, at a political rally or at a karaoke bar sitting by themselves and just watching the entertainment. Make it a point to join groups that interest you or have pertinence in your life, or go to establishments that attract people who are looking for companionship. When you're there, start up a conversation with someone. You'll meet people who share your interests or concerns.

Rediscover Yourself

Inevitably, there will be times when you are alone, no matter how often during the day you attempt to interact with others. Fill these times with things you enjoy, and learn to make good use of your solitude. Keep books, music or some creative activity at hand. Start a major project you've been procrastinating about because you've been depressed and haven't felt like summoning the energy. Your alone time doesn't have to be empty, and when you finish the project, you'll have a sense of accomplishment that will brighten your outlook and attract others to your company.

Turn on the TV

Research at the Miami University of Ohio and University of Buffalo indicates that watching television -- especially favorite shows -- makes people feel less lonely. People tend to form an emotional bond with characters whose lives they follow from week to week. No, they can't talk back to you, but you care about what happens to them next. Their exploits take your mind off your own concerns. Don't use television as a substitute for getting out and putting yourself into situations where you can communicate with real people. Use it to ease the end-of-the-day times when you come home to an empty house. You can even leave it on to provide background voices while you tackle that project you've been putting off.

Resources

• "Psychology Today": The Cure for Loneliness; Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D.; Oct. 1, 2010
• Counseling Center at University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign: Dealing with Loneliness
• Psych Central: Loneliness Harms Health; Rick Nauert, Ph.D.; Sep. 9, 2008
• MSNBC.com: For Some, TV is a Cure for Loneliness; James Hibberd; Apr. 28, 2009