Tips for a Happy Married Life

Try new things together and learn something new about your spouse.

Most couples begin their marriage with the notion that they will live "happily ever after." So what happens in the marriages that fall apart? You can learn lessons from previous relationships: think about your past relationships and if you made any mistakes that you should avoid in your marriage. Bear in mind that it is just as important to know what you do want as it is to know what you don't want from your marriage.

Discuss Finances

One of the biggest causes of conflict in a marriage is money. Make it a point to sit down at least twice a month to discuss savings, debts, bills, vacation plans, tuition and anything else concerning savings and expenses. Discuss individual credit reports and scores together. This will avoid any surprises when you go to make a big purchase together. Write down your financial goals and dreams. Share them with your spouse and make a plan to reach them together.

Avoid Blaming

When conflict arises, take a look at the one person you can control--you. What can you do or say differently? Often, spouses blame each other indirectly through their tone or choice of words. Reword phrases such as, "The dog needs to go out and, once again, I have to do it," to "I feel tired right now and Sparky needs to go out. Could you please let him out?" The latter is most likely to get you the response you want and need. Direct, assertive communication in a kind, level tone works best. Your spouse will feel respected in the process.

Communicate Openly

Keep the dialogue going on a daily basis. Ask about each other's days and take an avid interest in each other's activities. Talk about what excites you and what bothers you before it becomes a major problem. Couples disagree and it's not the conflict that can tear you apart; it's how you deal with the conflict. Listen to your partner and keep quiet until he is finished. Allow him to vent his feelings in an appropriate manner. Think about how you want to respond before you say anything. Come to an agreement or compromise. Depending on the issue, you may be able to agree to disagree.

Have Separate Interests

Couples who are happy are happy as individuals first. Married couples share intimacy on a deeper level than most other relationships. Be careful not to smother one another and lose your identity in the marriage. As life becomes busier with work and family obligations, take time for yourself to be with friends, play a sport, or another activity of choice. Also, make time as a couple even after you have children. Children thrive when their parents are happily married. This benefits the entire family.

References

• Bad Credit Loan Center:How to Prevent Marriage Conflicts over Money Issues
• Woman's Day:10 Marriage Rules You Should Break

Resources

• New York Post: 25 ways to a happy marriage