What Do I Do If My Maid of Honor Is Not Helping or Cooperating?
You want your wedding day to be perfect, and you assigned a special friend or relative to be your maid of honor but it's not working out. The person is unhelpful, uncooperative or even detrimental to your plans. You don't want to sabotage the relationship, but you need the individual to fulfill her duties so that your wedding will go smoothly. So take a deep breath and start deciding how to handle your problem maid.
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Tell Her What You Need
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It is possible that your maid of honor is not helping because she does not know what is expected of her. The list of duties for this member of the bridal party varies, but often includes tasks such as addressing invitations, scheduling photography sessions and planning seating arrangements. Make sure that you explain (nicely, of course) what you would like your maid of honor to do, and that you do not overwhelm her with too many tasks.
Don't Overwhelm Her
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It's also possible that you have asked too much of your maid of honor. If you have a particularly large or complicated wedding, or your maid is under stress in other areas of her life, she may not be able to handle all of the responsibilities. Consider splitting up traditional maid of honor duties with other members of the bridal party, such as the bridesmaids. Don't be afraid to ask your fiance to take on some additional responsibilities as well.
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Ask Her
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If the stress of the wedding isn't the issue, ask your maid of honor what the problem is. She might be unable or unwilling to assist for other reasons, some of them emotional. If she's a single girl who desperately wants to be married, it can be hard to watch her good friend walk down the aisle when she cannot and help plan the event as well. Ensure that your friend is in a good place psychologically to do what you ask of her.
Find Someone Else
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If all else fails, you may have to ask someone else to be your maid of honor. This can be a tricky situation, because even if the original maid doesn't want the job, being asked to step down is often considered a disgrace. Express to your maid that it's not personal; things just aren't working out. Affirm your commitment to the friendship while asking her to suggest another person better suited to the position. Express to your former maid that you still want her there on your special day if, indeed, you do.
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References
- Photo Credit wedding image by Mat Hayward from Fotolia.com
