Gag Survival Gifts
Television shows about survival --such as Discovery Channel's offerings of "Survivorman" and "Man vs. Wild" -- are gaining in popularity, as are vacations with a "survivalist" bent. If your significant other shares the obsession with survival, a party or gathering full of gag gifts with a survivalist bent should make his day. Surviving certain life events is also good fodder for gag gifts.
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The Thrown-Together Survivor "Kit"
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Get an old, beaten-up toolbox, or better yet, a small duffle from a military surplus store, and fill it with survival "tools." Fill it with items such as an old, frayed coil of rope, an empty metal can -- presumably for cooking over a fire -- and other miscellaneous items that a survivalist would be hard-pressed to find use for. Be creative in your choices, adding items like bobby pins, used fishing line, a broken pocket knife. Now is your chance to search the garage and other corners of the house for silly items you needed to throw out anyway. Toss in a half-eaten protein bar or some other "food" item, top the bag with a ribbon, and you've got a survival "kit" that will bring plenty of laughs as each item is revealed.
Food and Candy Gag Gifts
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Buy your survivalist wannabe an insect recipe book, loaded with recipes on how to pan-roast ants, grasshoppers and other creepy-crawlies. Along with the book, host an insect-eating party to display a few of the recipes and turn her gift into an "I dare you to eat it" survivalist party. Gift her with a few candy "insect" items as well, such as chocolate shaped as an ant or grasshopper, but not really containing any real insect parts, in case she's squeamish when push comes to shove. You might even want to include a book on edible species of insects depending on where in the world your gift recipient might be stranded.
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Gag Gifts for Surviving Illness
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If your significant other is feeling under-the-weather but still has his sense of humor, gift him with a sickness survival kit. If he has the flu, you can gift him with a "swine flu survival" package, filled with items like a piggy bank, pink antacid, pig keychains or rings, and a package of pork rinds -- take note that if he is feeling nauseated, the pork rinds might not be such a good idea. If he's struggling with a long-lasting head cold, make a survival kit filled with cough medicine, tissues with lotion, and a book or printout of excuses to use when he's calling in for a sick day.
Survival Gag Gifts for Life Events
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For the survival of the person in your life who might be turning 50 or more, a survival kit for being "around the bend" or "on the downhill slide" might be just the ticket. Find an old first-aid kit case, and fill it with hair coloring to wash the gray away, an application to join AARP, fiber powders for mixing in the morning juice and a recipe book for soft foods that won't get stuck in dentures.
Bring a "she's having a baby" survival kit to a friend's baby shower. Fill it with a large clothespin for dad's nose when he changes the baby's diaper, rubber gloves and a CD of meditations for stress relief. Add a "mommy care package" to the kit full of bath oils and a list of chores -- to give to her husband.
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