Solutions for Disciplining Children Who Use Bad Language

It may surprise you to hear your children saying naughty words.

You may not use swear words in front of your child -- or allow him to watch adult TV shows or movies -- but it is likely that he will hear and learn profanity somewhere. Children often hear profanity from their friends or other adults. It may be difficult to get a child to stop swearing, but there are several methods that can work.

Learn the Source

Ask your child where she heard the swear word that you heard her use. You cannot effectively discipline a child for swearing without knowing where she learned the word. She may have heard it from a friend or a friend's parents, or even a family member. It is also possible that she heard profanity from television shows or video games.

Ask the Child to Stop

You may be able to stop a child from using profanity by simply asking him. Explain to the child that it is not acceptable to say the specific word that he used. Ask him not to repeat the word. Just realizing that you are unhappy with his behavior may put an end to the child's swearing.

Substitute Words

Allowing the child to help, create a substitute word that she can say instead of the unacceptable swear word. Such words may include the more socially acceptable "drat" or "darn," for example. If the child continues to use the swear word, remind her to use the substitute word instead.

Eliminate or Reduce the Source

If the child heard the swear words from the media -- such as movies, TV shows or video games -- consider reducing the amount of time he spends involved in those activities. You may also need to restrict his contact with friends whom you know use profanity. If the child heard the profanity from someone who lives in your house or is a close family member, ask the person to be vigilant about not using swear words around your child.

Swear Jar

A "swear jar" may help to curb swearing. Tell your child that every time she swears, she will need to put something in the jar. If she has an allowance, require her to put a specific amount, such as a quarter or a dollar, into the jar. The child can also put other objects into the jar, and, after a certain amount of objects are added, explain that you will take away a favorite privilege. Examples of privileges include the use of the television, phone or computer.

References

• OneToughJob.org: Tips for Curbing Your Child's Swearing
• Discipline Help: The Swearer
• Children, Youth and Women's Health Service: Swearing; July 2008
• Parenting: Cures for Cussing; Joanna Nesbit;