Tips on American Etiquette at a Modern Wedding
Weddings have changed over the years, and so has the etiquette. The do's and don'ts for wedding guests and the bride and groom are not as rigid as they used to be. However, this is not an invitation to ignore all wedding etiquette. There are rules to navigating a wedding that are not negotiable.
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What to Wear
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The modern American wedding bridal party attire is more free and open to creativity. However, the bridal party should match as a whole and with the theme of the wedding. The groomsmen attire can be casual if the whole wedding is more casual. However, a basic black suit or tux with vest and necktie are traditional. Add a pop of color with the vest and necktie in the wedding colors. Mothers and grandmothers can wear the wedding colors. If the groomsmen wear tuxes, the fathers and grandfathers are not required to. Ask them to wear a black suit with a tie in the wedding colors. The bridesmaids can wear different styles of dress in the same color but the same length. For guests, if the invitation doesn't mention attire, check the time. After 5 p.m., men wear a suit and tie and women a semi-formal dress. If the wedding is before 5 p.m., men and women can wear business casual attire.
Gifts
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Guests who will not attend the wedding should send a gift to the bride or groom's home. Guests who were invited to the ceremony and not the reception do not have to give gifts. The bride and groom should never ask for money as a wedding gift. However, they can ask for money to go toward a honeymoon. If the wedding is called off, the couple must return the gifts. This is why it's important to wait until after the ceremony to open gifts. Guests can send wedding gifts up to a year after the wedding ceremony.
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Thank You Notes
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If these gifts arrive prior to your wedding day, couples should send a thank you note as soon as possible. Do not wait to write all of the thank you cards at once. The bride and groom should send out thank you notes within three months of getting married. The thank you notes must be handwritten. As the bride and groom open gifts, keep a list of who gave which gift and include that information in the card.
Guests
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Guests should never ask the bride and groom if they can bring a guest. This is especially true when the guest has already RSVPd. It is not rude for the bride or groom to decline the guest's request. However, the bride and groom must include significant others on the guest list.
Reception Bar
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Do not have a cash bar at your wedding. It is rude and tacky to have your guess pay for their drinks. If you do not expect them to pay for the food, then do not expect them to pay for drinks. Instead, have the bar offer only soda, wine, beer and champagne. This will keep the cost down. If you can, select a location where you can supply the alcohol for your wedding. This is less expensive than a cash bar.
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References
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- Photo Credit Wedding 2 image by Joelyn Pullano from Fotolia.com
