How to Deal With a Rude College Suite Mate


Dorm life keeps you connected to campus social activities and to classes, but a rude suite mate may make you question your college living arrangements. The small living quarters leave you with little escape from annoying habits and inconsiderate behaviors. Learning how to deal with your rude roommate can help you live together without the stress and arguments.

Pinpoint the Problem

  • Sharing a small space sometimes makes even the littlest annoyances seem rude and unbearable. Before you call out your suite mate for being rude, figure out exactly what he is doing that irritates you. Maybe it's the late-night visits from friends or early-morning wake-up calls. Differences in your habits often lead to conflict or frustration. A stressful semester can make your roommate's habits even more annoying. By assessing the situation logically you are able to figure out how to address the problem and what you can do to improve the situation.

Talk to Your Roommate

  • With a clear understanding of what annoys you most about your suite mate, it's time for a sit-down discussion with him. The longer you put off the talk, the more frustration will build over his rude behaviors. Planning out the conversation at a time when you aren't upset allows you to discuss the issues calmly. You are more likely to have a productive conversation with potential solutions than you would when highly emotional. Tell your roommate what is bothering you and why. You might say, "When you stay up late with the music blaring, I can't get the sleep I need to get classwork done." Give your roommate a chance to express his frustrations during the conversation.

Write a Contract

  • Regis College suggests using a roommate contract to help avoid future conflict. The contract should cover the ground rules for living together to avoid potentially rude behaviors that cause conflict. Topics to cover in the roommate contract include quiet hours, visitors, cleaning routines, respect for your roommates' belongings and acceptable activities. Your resident assistant is a resource if you have difficulty compromising as you create the roommate contract. Even if you don't create a written document, the RA may have advice to improve communication.

Learn How to Deal With It

  • Part of dorm life is learning how to deal with conflicting personalities. If your roommate's behaviors are truly disruptive, harmful or illegal, outside help from your RA may be necessary. If it's just the little things, such as late-night nail clipping or leaving his desk a mess, learning to ignore the behavior will help you keep your sanity. Venting to dorm neighbors or friends may help you calm down, but if your suite mate hears about the gossiping, the tension could increase. Find ways to block out your roommate's behaviors such as headphones and visual separation of the space. Spending time out of the dorm and using deep breathing techniques can help you feel less stress about the situation.

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