Teaching Kids to Lose Graciously
People of all ages want to win. Win anything -- from the lottery, to national sports, to household games. People are competitive by nature, and losing isn't easy, particularly for children who can't always understand that losing is an inevitable part of life sometimes. Every child has the potential to become a gracious loser regardless of the stakes.
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Set the Example
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This is the biggest aid in teaching children to lose gracefully. As their parent or caretaker, you act as their most prominent role model. In playing games or performing in competitions, they will learn from what they see. If you're laughing, enjoying yourself and congratulating the real winner, this behavior will soon influence them. This extends beyond losing, and also includes your reaction upon winning. A gleeful, gloating winner is just as poor a sport as a poor loser, so be gracious.
Be Encouraging
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Oftentimes, a kid who loses at something becomes frustrated and unhappy because he thinks it's a reflection of his ability or knowledge. The best method of combating this is to encourage your child to do their absolute best at every step, regardless of their particular activity. Sports-minded kids should have the same acclaim whether they hit the game-winning home run or strike out, while the academically focused child should receive accolades whether they're first or last place in last at the school spelling bee. Once a child's efforts are applauded, the need for winning -- and consequently the sting of losing -- diminishes.
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Impart Empathy
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Children don't often make the connection that while someone wins, someone else has to lose. Teach them that this partnership is necessary, and they'll start realizing the impact winning and losing has on other children, which might influence their own reactions. For instance, a gloating child hurts the feelings of those who didn't win, while a child who loses might not realize how hard the winner worked. Empathy helps children recognize that supporting one another and working hard as a team is just as satisfying as winning.
Teach Kids to Learn From Mistakes
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Because losing is an inevitability, prepare children for it. Every loss offers a chance at improvement. If your child missed a three-point shot during his basketball game, it simply means there's a new direction for him to focus his practice. If your daughter doesn't get a high enough grade on her science test, it just means she has to re-evaluate her method of studying. Neither of these results are a reflection of ability or intelligence. Show your child that that no one can win all the time, and losing is a bigger learning opportunity than winning, which means it's not really losing at all.
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