Making Your Funeral Plans & Burial Wishes Known

Selecting a coffin is just one of many choices that must be made.

Making your funeral and burial plan wishes known before you die will make it easier for your family to cope with your loss. Avoid including the information in your will since that is generally not the place most people look when taking your wishes into account. Write a letter and give it to the person who manages your estate or put it in a safe place where people will know where to find it. Understand that your family may not be able or willing to follow all of your wishes, but having the letter gives them a starting point.

Burial Preference

The burial preference can be a subject of heated debate. If you don't make it known how you want to be buried, family members may argue about cremation versus burial. By taking the time to make your preference known ahead of the event, you can save your family unneeded heartache. This also gives you the opportunity to select an appropriate casket if you choose a burial service. Either way, make sure to include this information in your letter.

Service Location and Type

Detail the type of service you would like to have in your letter. You can choose from many types, including religious, festive or even a simple service where your ashes are scattered over a favorite location. If you choose to scatter your ashes, be aware that your family may need to secure a permit to do that legally. Specify whether you want a large, open community funeral, or an intimate service with family and friends only. You also should decide whom you want to attend your viewing if you have one. Sometimes children are restricted from viewings.

Pallbearers

Choose a set of eight possible pallbearers. These could be sons, daughters or relatives. Being a pallbearer is a special honor for those who are chosen, so you should think carefully about who you want to select. They must be strong enough to lift the coffin. Having three people on each side and one to guide the coffin to the hearse is essential. The pallbearers will be serving in solemn, possibly upsetting, circumstances, so having someone lead the way will make the process run more smoothly.

Music

Select music that you would like played at your funeral. Otherwise, the family will pick the music they think you would have wanted. If you want to leave the choice up to them, that is perfectly fine, too. Make your desires clear and give some guidelines for the style of music and even how you want it played. You may wish to have a string orchestra play a rendition of your favorite song. Or maybe a boom box in the park is all you think is necessary.

Special Requests and Flowers

Instructions for special requests and flowers also should be outlined in the letter. Perhaps you would like someone to read a message to the attendees. A personal message about what your life meant and how you felt about your loved ones will be welcomed by those who grieve you. Flowers also should be selected based on your preferences. Don't just leave a list of flowers you like. If you dislike carnations, for example, make it known that you don't want any at the funeral.

Finances

Finances are an essential part of funeral planning. While you are alive, do your best to save money in a special fund to help your family with funeral costs. Funerals may cost several thousands of dollars, and finding a way to pay for an appropriate burial can an additional burden on the families that are trying to cope with your passing. If you have a savings of at least $5,000 to help with expenses, it will make life easier on everyone. Make sure that the necessary people have the authority to draw on the account when needed.

References

• Hammond Law Group Estate Planning: Funeral Plans: Making Your Wishes Known