Techniques for Encouraging Conversation
When you're planning a party or social gathering, some things are harder to control than others. You can plan the theme of the evening, the food and the decor, but it's harder to plan for a good conversation. It's unfortunate, because often the success of an evening depends on how well the guests were able to interact and enjoy each other's company. As the host, you can learn to encourage stimulating conversation my mastering a few basic principles. Does this Spark an idea?
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Environment
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If a pleasant conversation is your goal, create an appropriate environment. If you're having guests in your home, arrange the seating so that groups of guests can cluster together. Each seating area can encourage a separate conversation, without infringing on the others. Remove any distractions from the vicinity. You may be proud of your new 52-inch television, but leave it turned off. Keep your music low-key and low-volume, so your guests won't have to shout to be heard. If it's appropriate for the occasion, a glass of wine or another alcoholic beverage can help ease interaction.
Active Listening
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Listening, not speaking, is the most important part of a conversation for the host. It's not enough to remain silent while your guest is speaking. You may not be aware of it, but you can send messages of lack of interest by your body language. Don't glance around the room, check the time, tap your fingers or fidget with your wine glass while your guest speaks. Instead, focus on your guest. Show your interest in the speaker's words by responding, when appropriate, with a supportive word or two. It's your interest that makes it a conversation, rather than a monologue or interrogation.
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Questions
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One of the most obvious ways to encourage a response from your conversation partner is to ask a direct question. Avoid simple questions that can be answered with a quick yes or no. Instead, ask about things that need an active response from your guest, such as an opinion or a narrative. If you know your guests, ask questions that relate to their interests. Ask a wine enthusiast which bottle to pair with dinner, for example, or a mom about her preschooler. When possible, ask additional questions to clarify or enlarge on something your guest has said.
Hide Your Soapbox
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The single most important principle of conversation is to keep the focus of attention squarely on your guests. Most people have an innate desire to talk about things they consider interesting and important. As the host, you need to put away your own soapbox and let your guests have their say. Following someone else's anecdote with one of your own is a natural response, but it's often a conversation killer. Let one of your other guests respond, or if necessary encourage it. Your role is to facilitate the conversation, not to dominate it.
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References
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