How to Make Small Talk at Large Dinner Parties
Being seated next to a stranger at a large dinner party can be a socially stressful situation. When you're at the dinner party there's no opportunity to get up and mingle, so you have to do your best to make small talk with whoever happens to be seated with you. If you start with light topics and listen carefully, however, the small talk can be enjoyable and even turn into something more meaningful.
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Initiating Small Talk
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If you find yourself sitting in silence next to a stranger during dinner, take the initiative to start the conversation. Your dinner partner may not know how to break the ice and will likely appreciate you starting things off. Begin by introducing yourself and asking her name. If you have trouble with names, repeat her name so that you'll remember it later in conversation. Mutual points of interest are good places to start the conversation. Ask her how she knows the host, how she likes the food or if she lives near the hosts' home. From there, conversation should start flowing more easily.
Topics of Conversation
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By definition, small talk should focus on light, non-controversial topics. Since your conversation partner is either a stranger or a mere acquaintance, you don't want to potentially offend him by bringing up politics, religion or complex philosophical questions. Once you have exhausted initial conversation about the hosts or the food, move on to slightly more personal questions. If the person you're talking to knows the host from work, ask her about her job. If she seems particularly interested in the food, you may want to direct the conversation towards other culinary topics. Good small talk requires reading the situation at hand and finding topics of conversation that interest both parties.
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Show Interest
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Once you've got a comfortable conversation going, it's important to show that you're interested in what your partner has to say. Maintain eye contact and respond to her thoughts with physical cues like nodding and smiles. Likewise, it's crucial that you show that you're also interested in sharing your own experiences and opinions. If she asks you about your job or hobbies, give elaborate answers that she can respond to rather than simple one-word answers.
Moving on to Big Talk
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The most successful small talk sessions turn into something more meaningful. If your small talk conversation is going well, attempt to make the transition into a more meaningful discussion. The small talk will allow you to get a feel for the other person and open the door to something more substantial. With any luck, you will find yourself in a rousing conversation and by the end of the night your dinner partner will no longer be a stranger.
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References
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