Activities to Get Closer to Your Spouse
The magic ratio in a relationship is five to one, according to psychotherapist and researcher John Gottman, which means that for every negative interaction, a sarcastic remark, a hurt feeling or an irritable exchange, you should have at least five positive interactions in which you have fun, feel connected or experience joy together. Activities that make you feel closer to your spouse are those that encourage positive interactions and minimize negative experiences. Breaking out of your usual routine is often helpful. You'll feel more connected, and your partnership will become more resilient and affectionate.
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Date Night
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Set up a regular date with your spouse to do something you both enjoy. Try new restaurants together, have a regular tennis date or go to the movies, the theater or a favorite bookstore. Choose an activity that you both love and to which you both look forward, and indulge in little luxuries, like a shared dessert at the bookstore, to make the dates special occasions.
Celebrations
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When something good happens to you or your spouse -- a promotion, an achievement, or a stroke of luck -- you should celebrate heartily. Have a party, a special dinner or simply offer a toast to commemorate good fortune and accomplishments. Everyone appreciates recognition, and being there for each other during good times is just as important as being there when times are tough. Even better, celebrate each special achievement in a special way.
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Adventures
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Anthropologist Helen Fisher conducted a survey to find out which activities that couples feel builds intimacy in their romantic relationships. The vast majority of both men and women regarded "doing something adventurous together" as an intimacy-building activity. Plan an adventure that interests you both, whether it's skydiving, backpacking, traveling to an unfamiliar country or exploring out-of-the way neighborhoods or museums in your city.
Journaling and Sharing
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An introspective activity that can help you increase intimacy with your spouse is journaling. Set aside some time to do a list-making exercise. Make lists that focus on positive aspects of your relationship: things you like about your partner, reasons you are together, good times you've shared, and ways in which your partner makes you feel loved. On a regular basis, share a list item with your partner. If he is receptive, ask him to make similar lists and share them with you.
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References
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