Parenting an Unmotivated Student

Low self-esteem may be at the root of your child's lack of motivation.

Many intelligent children have the potential to do well in school but fail to make the grade because they are unmotivated. Lack of motivation occurs for a variety of reasons, from low self-esteem to peer pressure, and figuring out the reasons for your child's problem is the key to finding a solution. Parents play an important role in encouraging their children to succeed in school, but the wrong approach can have undesirable effects.

Motivation

Motivation is the desire to complete tasks and achieve success. It is driven by both interest in the subject and by a general feeling that it is worthwhile to do well. Motivation is not static; it may ebb and flow throughout life, depending on the particular situation and environment of the student. Lack of motivation comes in many forms. Some children aren't motivated to go to school, to complete assignments or to pay attention in class. Some children do well in certain subjects, but fail to meet expectations in other subjects. Figuring out the cause of your child's lack of motivation is the first step to helping him overcome it.

Causes

Lack of motivation is often perceived as laziness, but its causes are usually much more complex. Low self-esteem, which is the belief that you are not good enough or cannot be successful, is a major factor in some children's lack of motivation. Depression, which often goes hand in hand with low self-esteem, may also generate feelings of worthlessness and a lack of interest in activities such as school and studying. A lack of support from family and teachers can inhibit a child's motivation as can excessive pressure placed on the student to perform well.

Solutions

A safe and supportive home environment is critical to your child's success. Set a good example for your children by encouraging learning, and let him know that academic success is worthwhile and rewarding. Offering encouragement and positive reinforcement will help your child feel more confident; on the contrary, penalizing him for failure may make him fearful of taking on academic challenges in the future. Be prudent when offering rewards for success to be sure you are not encouraging your child to do well only to receive a reward. Rather, instill in him the belief that success is its own reward. If depression and low self-esteem are at the root of your child's lack of motivation, seek help from a counselor or therapist skilled in these behavior problems.

Considerations

A child who sees his parents studying, reading and learning will be more inclined to also adopt those good habits. Take a class and do your homework while your child does his. This can create a positive and supportive environment for study, and it also can strengthen the bond between parent and child. Identify your child's interests and strengths, and help him find a way to incorporate those into his academic life so that he is more encouraged to participate. Collaborating with your child's teachers and a school counselor is a good way to get everyone on board to help your child be more motivated in his studies.

References

• Great Schools: Motivating the Unmotivated Student
• The Christian Broadcasting Network: Parenting an Unmotivated Child