Overcoming a Dominating Partner
Many relationships consist of one partner who is more dominant than the other. This may stem from anger and control issues. Effective communication is essential in overcoming a dominating partner to ensure you maintain an equal balance in the relationship. Taking certain steps to help overcome your dominant other-half can help you feel happier and more involved in the relationship.
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Dominance
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To dominate means to control, rule or to be superior over another. If your partner is dominating you, chances are you have more of a non-assertive personality and probably don't speak up for yourself often enough. Your dominate partner may or may not be aggressive, but he probably tends to like to have control over everything. Talk with your partner about your concerns before you begin to feel withdrawn from the relationship.
Assertiveness
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Having someone dominate you can make you feel distanced and give you feelings of resentment. Being assertive and giving yourself a voice helps communicate your needs to your partner. Increasing your assertiveness puts you in a "win-win" situation in your relationship. It allows you to acknowledge your own feelings and needs while using open, honest communication, explains Dr. Tom G. Stevens from the Counseling and Psychological Services at California State University. Having an assertive personality and clearly explaining your needs is different from being aggressive.
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Aggressiveness
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A dominating partner may seem aggressive or overbearing when she communicates with you. Holding in your feelings might cause you to eventually blow up and react in a sporadic, aggressive manner. These episodes can lead to major fights that take a while to overcome. Rather than holding in your feelings and having random aggressive outbursts, talk with your partner when she does something that bothers you. Confrontation can be difficult, so start with something positive. For example, tell her that you love spending time with her at dinner, but you would like to choose a location once in a while rather than always going to her favorite places. Starting off on a positive note makes you seem more assertive and less aggressive.
Additional Concerns
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A dominating personality might be the result of deeper anger within your partner. Watch for periods of extreme frustration. If you notice your partner is more dominating and controlling at certain times, you might be able to help dissolve the situation. For example, maybe he has a high-stress job and needs a few moments to relax as soon as he gets home. Paying attention to his needs and taking note of what triggers his control issues may help prevent problems. If your dominating partner becomes aggressive or abusive, it is time for you to seek outside help. Talk with a counselor or trusted loved one about your situation before it gets out of control.
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References
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