How to Balance Work With the Guilt of Leaving Kids in Daycare
Parents often have no choice but to work and send their children to daycare, but the guilt sometimes is overwhelming. The guilty feelings become worse if your child exhibits signs of separation anxiety, such as crying or becoming upset when you drop him off. Learning to handle the guilt and help your child transition to daycare more easily improves the situation for you and your child.
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Find Quality Care
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Many families don't have the option of having one parent stay at home. If you know your child is at a quality childcare provider, you are less likely to feel guilty and worry about your child while you're at work. Visit several childcare providers before deciding on a place to take your child. A family member watching your child could be an option that gives you a better sense of relief each time you leave her when you go to work.
Get into a Routine
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A regular routine helps everyone better handle the daycare and work balance. Talk about daycare in a positive way so you don't unintentionally reinforce your child's negative feelings about it. Follow the same steps to get ready in the morning and handle the drop-off. For example, when you arrive at daycare, you might help your child get settled, give him a quick hug, tell him goodbye and leave. Avoid staying longer if he begins crying because it is likely to make the actual separation even worse when you finally do leave.
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Adjust Schedule
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It's not always possible, but some people have the option of adjusting work schedules to limit the amount of time your child spends at daycare. Consider cutting down to a part-time position so you have to use daycare only for part of the day or a few days per week. If both parents work, another possibility is to work different shifts or have one parent start later in the day to limit the time in childcare. If you work from home, an option is to hire an in-home childcare provider. This allows you to get your work done but still be near your child during the day.
Connect with Other Parents
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A support system with other working parents helps you deal with the guilt by talking to others who feel the same way. You also have the option of sharing tips with one another to help your child deal with separation anxiety. Schedule play dates with other working parents and their children on the weekends so you get adult time and the kids socialize with other children.
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