Returning a Wedding Ring After Divorce
In 1970, singer Freda Payne lamented about a failed marriage in her song, "Band of Gold," an ode to the shiny reminder of what might have been. Now that your marriage has ended, you may wonder what you should do with the tangible evidence you were married at all. Legal precedent applies, but etiquette queen Emily Post suggested ethics should drive your decision to return a ring upon divorce.
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Legal Obligation
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Typically, courts regard the wedding ring as separate property rather than community property and owned by the recipient regardless of the dissolution of marriage. While an engagement ring depends upon the marriage to meet the condition of the gift, the courts consider consummation of your marriage meeting this condition. Regardless of the cost of the ring, its ties to the family of the donor or the length of the marriage, generally courts favor for the recipient to keep the ring as her property.
Equitable Distribution
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Community property states count the rings as individual property and, as such, they still qualify for equitable distribution decided upon by the courts. Even so, both engagement and wedding rings generally default to the recipient. If the courts decide the spouse who gave the ring has greater earning potential, then the other spouse tends to get a higher percentage of marital assets anyway, which includes the value of that individual's wedding ring.
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Heirloom Pieces
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If your spouse gave you a valuable heirloom ring, it is entirely possible that you will retain possession of it, legally, after the divorce. While he can ask you to return it, whether you do it is a matter of choice rather than law. You may decide to pass this heirloom down to your own children to keep this family tradition despite the fracture in your marriage; but you may also decide to extend an olive branch to your ex or his family by returning the ring.
Symbolism
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What you do with your ring often symbolizes the end of the marriage, whether you keep it or return it. You may decide to sell your ring, particularly if you have debt incurred by the divorce. Rather than keep it as some melancholy token of a failed relationship, some have decided to re-purpose the ring as a defiant gesture and wear it on their middle finger rather than the third finger. Then there are those who prefer to protect their good karma by returning the ring as a gesture of goodwill upon going their separate ways.
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