Caring for a Newborn Plus a Toddler
Adding a newborn into a family that already has a toddler can be a challenging experience for a parent. Up until this point your toddler has been able to have your undivided attention and get his needs met immediately. With a newborn, your priorities shift to the baby whose demands are even more urgent and nonnegotiable. This doesn't diminish the demands of your toddler and learning to care for both requires a certain finesse. While the event can shake your toddler's sense of security, including him to participate in the care of the new baby and giving him individual one-on-one time will teach him how invaluable every member of the family is.
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Prepare Your Toddler
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In the months leading up to the birth of your newborn, prepare your toddler to help ease into the transition. This includes both emotional preparation as well as practical preparation. If your child still sleeps in a crib, make the transition to the "big girl" bed several weeks prior to bringing your newborn home. This will help her feel less "displaced" by her new sibling. Take this time to help her potty train if she's ready and praise her for all the things she does to "help" you prepare for the baby.
Think Ahead
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Prepare for the juggling act. In part you are at the mercy of your newborn who sets a certain schedule by her particular sleeping and eating demands. These may not always coordinate with the schedule you've already created for your toddler. Take one day when you have help from your spouse to prepare and freeze several meals throughout the week so that you can spend more time resting and caring for your newborn when you're flying solo.
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Approach It As a Team
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A close relationship with their fathers helps toddlers transition when the new baby comes, in addition to easing the load off of the primary caregiver. While you're feeding or napping with the baby, your spouse can spend some quality one-on-one time away from the house with your toddler. This will help your toddler feel more secure that there's enough love to go around and his place is still significant in the family despite the new addition. Make a practice once a day to allow each parent alone time with each child.
Include the Toddler in Baby's Care
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Your focus may be on your newborn, which can make the other child feel excluded. This can lead to a regression of behavior, such as going back on potty training or trying to drink again from a bottle. Encourage your toddler how important she is to you now as the oldest. Allow your toddler to throw away dirty diapers or fetch clean ones. Sing together while you give the baby a bath and make a production out of nap time. If you nurse, allow your toddler to sit with you and hold a book while you read aloud to her and make it a family bonding moment.
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References
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