Etiquette for Something Borrowed for a Bridal Shower
Whether out of superstition or simply for the sake of tradition, many brides choose to follow the custom of gathering something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. Typically, the old, new, borrowed and blue items are collected at the bridal shower, with the assistance of the honoree’s maid or matron of honor. Some brides follow strict rules of etiquette with regard to something borrowed, while others relax the conventional codes.
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Lender
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The bridal shower is a gathering of the bride’s closest and most dear friends and family, from whom the “something borrowed” should come. Acquaintances and co-workers, if invited to the shower, are not expected to offer items for the bride to borrow. Some brides only borrow items from their own side of the family. However, many brides borrow items from close family of the groom, such as a mother- or sister-in-law. According to strict traditions, brides only borrow items from females. However, many brides accept items presented at the shower on behalf of male relatives. For instance, the bride’s mother may offer the father’s Bible, prayer book or book of poems for the bride to read on her wedding day.
Choosing What to Borrow
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Choosing an item to borrow is the prerogative of the bride. Although the hostess of the shower, which is typically the maid or matron of honor, may help to oversee the collection of items, it is ultimately up to the bride to decide which item to borrow. According to tradition, the bride selects the item that is the loveliest and the most sentimental or meaningful item out of those offered at the shower. Guests are welcome to offer assistance in the selection, but they must not pressure or persuade the bride.
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Kinds of Items
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Traditionally, jewelry items with sentimental or special meaning are offered to the bride for her to borrow. For instance, a mother or grandmother may offer a pair of pearl earrings worn on her own wedding day. However, the item need not be jewelry and it need not be expensive. Less valuable items offered for borrowing might include a flower picked from a friend or relative’s garden for the bouquet. Alternatively, a friend or relative may offer a fur stole to wear over the gown. Often, veils and headpieces are borrowed items as well.
Uniqueness of Borrowed Item
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Ideally, the borrowed item does not replicate something old, new or blue. For instance, if a friend lends a pair of sapphire earrings, these jewels should serve as the something borrowed or something blue, but not both. Further, if a close friend or family member gives the bride something new or blue, this person must not also lend the bride her borrowed item
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References
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