What to Do After a Failed Proposal

A failed proposal doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship.

If your girlfriend isn’t ready to take the plunge but still wants to remain in a relationship, openly communicate with her about her hesitation. Understanding is important to repair the frayed bond between the two of you, so ask for her understanding and give her your own. After you move past the hump and put your relationship back on track, there are always other opportunities to propose marriage again.

Stay Calm

Keeping a level head is imperative after a failed proposal. Attempt to calm your significant other and encourage her to talk with you. Flying off-the-handle and making a scene isn’t going to help your standing. If your girlfriend sees you making a scene, it may turn her off. If done in public, and depending on the audience, it may damage your standing with friends and family as well. Taking the rejection in good grace will show your maturity and help your girlfriend feel more comfortable with talking to you.

Talk It Over

Opening the lines of communication will help you understand the reasons behind your girlfriend’s rejection. It also gives you the chance to mend the damage and try again later. Discuss her reasons for rejecting the proposal in private and calmly so the two of you can speak earnestly. There may be a valid reason for her rejection that you didn’t consider at first. Mull over the information she gives you and plan your next move.

Take a Break

While it is important to consider your girlfriend’s feelings after the rejection, you are undoubtedly hurting as well. Take some time away from your girlfriend if you feel you may need some time to think. Explain that you need time to sort your priorities and consider the relationship (just because she wants to continue the relationship despite the rejection doesn’t mean you want to). You may even need time to heal from emotional pain due to the rejection. Call on your friends for emotional support to help heal the hurt. Your friends make a great support group that helps you forget your troubles. Spending time with your friends also gives your girlfriend the space she needs to consider your relationship objectively.

Bide Your Time

Just because your first proposal failed doesn't mean your second one will. Bide your time before you ask again to be sure of the answer. Consider the reasons she said no the first time. After you pass those hurdles, there are fewer roadblocks in the way of your proposal. Wait until she gives signs of her readiness as well. For example, if she starts talking about your future or possibly starting a family together, it's a good sign she may be ready. Talking about the ring or dropping hints about her ideal wedding ceremony is also a strong sign that you should try again. Once you observe her behavior and feel sure of the answer, try your proposal again.

References

• Top Dating Tips: Tips For Dealing With Rejection
• Christian Broadcasting Network; Moving Past Rejection; Michelle McKinney Hammond
• Pick the Brain; 7 Tips On How to Handle Rejection In Life; Evelyn Lim
• Life Love Beauty; 20 Tips for Surviving a Broken Engagement and Moving on with Your Life - Last Few Tips to Move on; Kathryn D'Imperio; December 2009
• The Knot; Marriage Proposals: 7 Reasons You're Ready to Propose; Miles Stiverson