The Use of Empathy as a Communication Technique

Communicating with empathy is a valuable tool for resolving differences.

Empathetic, or active listening, enables the listener to not only understand what the speaker is saying, but it also allows her to identify with the speaker’s emotions. As a result, the empathetic listener becomes more compassionate, tolerant and accepting of differences. However, becoming an empathetic listener takes practice. A beginning empathetic listener should practice in low-stress situations until the process becomes automatic. Then she will be able to use her empathetic listener skills in difficult, highly emotional situations.

Benefits

Numerous benefits result from using empathy as a communication technique. First, those who practice empathetic communication are aware of and can handle their own emotions. Second, empathetic communication enables people to build strong interpersonal relationships that can withstand disagreements and misunderstandings. Finally, empathetic communication enables people to share information in a respectful and open atmosphere, which leads to solutions that are win-wins for the concerned parties.

Personal Relationships

Empathy is a vital communication technique for those who are married or in personal relationships. Often, when spouses or partners argue, they are seized by such strong feelings that discussions either escalate into personal attacks or are cut off altogether. However, empathy enables a partner to hear beyond the words and understand what the other is feeling. This understanding frees the empathetic partner to, at a minimum, validate his partner’s emotions and viewpoints – even if he doesn’t agree with them. The validation alone often relieves tension and builds positive feelings, at which point the couple can actively listen to each other as they resolve the conflict.

Children

For better or worse, children get their basic training in communication from their parents. Parents who practice empathetic communication with their children help them in several ways. First, children learn that their parents care enough about them to listen to their concerns and take them seriously. Second, they learn from their parents’ counsel. Third, the children learn how to use empathy when communicating with their family and friends. They are able to identify and manage their own feelings as well as understand and address the feelings of others.

In the Workplace

Empathetic communication enhances the work environment. Managers who use empathy when listening to co-workers are better able to understand their position. As a result, they are more open in their thinking. Empathetic listening also enables mangers to help employees collaborate on projects, especially when diverse interests are at stake.
Critiquing an employee also calls for empathetic listening. When a manager criticizes an employee, she must be aware of the impact of her words. If criticism is given in an empathetic supportive manner, the employee can learn from it and improve. If it is given in a hurtful manner, the employee may become resentful and bitter.

References

• “Emotional Intelligence”; Daniel Goleman; 1995
• MindTools: Mind Tools on Active Listening; 2005
• "nSights"; Managing with Emotional Intelligence; 2002
• "Knowledge Solutions"; Understanding and Developing Emotional Intelligence; Oliver Serrat; 2009
• BeyondIntractibility.org: The Benefits of Empathic Listening

Resources

• Read this Article in Spanish
• “The Language of Emotional Intelligence”; Jeanne Segal; 2008
• “The EQ Difference: A Powerful Plan”; Adele Lynn; 2004