Advice for Dating a Divorced Man With Young Children
If you've started to date a divorced man who has young children, you'll be happy to hear that it's not as difficult to deal with than you might anticipate. Many women overcome the uncertainty of the situation and go on to loving and satisfying relationships with divorcees with children.
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Build a Relationship Slowly
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The only woman who was by daddy's side was mommy and now you are by his side. This is uncomfortable for his children. They need time to get used to the new view. Don't pressure them and don't push yourself on them. Say hello and make small talk with them but don't ask them 20 questions trying to become a part of their life right off the bat. Just show them that you are a nice person who is available and is by their daddy's side now.
Leave the Discipline to Daddy
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If you see the children behaving badly, do not discipline them. You are walking on eggshells with them as the new girlfriend, so any negativity may ruin your relationship with them forever. It's best to discuss it with their father so he can take care of it and do it in private.
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Deal with Your Insecurities
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When you date someone with young children, he will always have a connection with his ex-wife. Do not allow yourself to compare yourself to her. If you do, you will quickly feel as though you are not good enough and that will negatively affect your relationship. It's also a good idea to control any jealousy you may feel with self-affirmations, such as "I am who I am, and I am great." Of course, if you have a gut instinct or see flirting between them, there may be lingering feelings. Talk to your boyfriend or decide if you should invest yourself in the relationship with the risk of being hurt.
Be Supportive
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A marriage is a major event in someone's life. It's often not easy to end that event and not have any lingering feelings. If he's going through some sadness, such as an anniversary, try to be supportive by listening to him and giving him a shoulder to cry on. Being able to be with him through his storms will show him that he has a partner in life, even if it doesn't directly affect you.
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