Guidelines for a Break in a Relationship
Relationships can add joy to your life, but sometimes things go wrong. The couple may find they are not getting along or there may be a deeper problem, like an affair. Some couples opt to address the problem without ending the relationship. They take a break, which involves time apart without actually severing the relationship. Couples who choose this route should set guidelines for the break to ensure that each party knows what to expect.
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Honesty
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When considering taking a break, it is essential to be honest with yourself and with the other person. Some people who ask for a break really want to be able to do whatever they want while maintaining a relationship with the other person. But this is not fair to your partner. If you really want a break up instead of a break, be honest and allow the other person to move on.
Contact
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Couples who take breaks engage in different levels of contact throughout the break. Guidelines should be set regarding whether you will keep in contact at all. If so, how often will you talk on the phone and see each other? The frequency of contact depends on the individuals involved and the situation that led to the break. The important thing is that couples discuss their expectations so that one partner is not upset if the other doesn’t call or visit as often as she would like.
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Dating
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A potential touchy subject pertaining to taking a break is whether one or both people will date others. Couples should discuss this and come to an agreement on the subject. A person who wants to take a break just to date others probably wants a break up, but doesn’t want to completely close the door. One of the parties often can’t handle the other one dating someone else because he still feels attached to the relationship. Couples who decide to date others should tread carefully if they want to preserve the possibility of getting back together.
Length
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Set guidelines for how long the break should last so that it doesn’t go on indefinitely. A reasonable break is three to six months. At the end of that time, you and your partner should meet to determine whether you are going to get back together. If the answer is no, the relationship is likely over and you should make the breakup official.
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References
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