Gender Differences in Awareness of Courtship Initiation Tactics

Men and women respond differently to courtship tactics.

Repeated studies have been done on gender awareness of flirting tactics. The results consistently indicate that men tend to perceive women as more flirtatious than the women would score themselves in the same situation, especially when the flirtation involves nonverbal cues on the part of the woman. Understanding the differences in perception between men and women can lead to increased success in flirting and courtship.

Verbal Cues

Verbal cues for flirting involve complimenting, indicating that you're available and mild sexual innuendo. A study completed in 2003 indicates that both men and women are able to accurately judge the sexual interest of a prospective partner when the initiator uses verbal cues of this type. This is likely due to the lack of ambiguity involved in this technique. It is readily apparent that the initiator is interested in a romantic relationship.

Nonverbal Cues

Nonverbal cues include smiling, leaning into the other person, making eye contact, and touching the other person. Smiling has been identified in repeated studies as a component of interpersonal attraction, while leaning forward and eye contact have also been well studied as attraction cues.

Verbal Rejections

Equally important is understanding the rejection cues. Both men and women acknowledge the use of verbal rejections, like communicating that they are already in a relationship (real or fictional) as well as insulting the other party. Men tended to use insults more than women to end the contact, whereas suggesting the existence of a significant other was used almost exclusively by women. Other techniques involve giving intentionally brief answers to questions to discourage future interactions or being polite without flirting in response.

Nonverbal Rejections

Nonverbal strategies involve leaving the area of the other person, signaling your social network to help you exit the situation, using your cell phone to signal disinterest and ignoring the other person entirely. Interestingly, men tend to use their social networks to shift the female's interest to another male that may be interested, whereas women tend to use their social networks to escape the situation entirely. The ignoring tactic is used almost exclusively by women.

References

• Uab.edu; "Human Communication"; The Perceptions of Verbal and Nonverbal Flirting Cues in Cross-Sex Interaction; David Dryden Henningsen, Falon Kartch, Nancy Orr, Amanda Brown; 2003
• Nova.edu; "The Qualitative Report"; Flirtation Rejection Strategies: Toward an Understanding of Communicative Disinterest in Flirting; Alan K. Goodboy, Maria Brann; March 2, 2010