Ways to Communicate Compliments to Others
People may find compliments easier to dole out than criticisms, although it's hard to give a good, genuine compliment that will stick out in a person's mind for a long time afterward. If a compliment is only flimsy flattery or superficial, it may make the person you're complimenting uncomfortable. Communicating a compliment in ways that are genuine, on the other hand, it will be well-received.
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Be Genuine
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Get to know the person and his strengths. Give a genuine compliment based on what you learned about him. Observing and pointing out a person's strengths and positive personality traits will come out as a sincere, meaningful compliment instead of just mere flattery. Look the person in the eye so he know you're being honest. Also, for the compliment to be genuine, make sure it is given without any expectations or attachments on your part; in other words, you should not be expecting anything in return for your compliment.
Specificity
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Acknowledge specific actions the person has taken to reinforce your compliment. For example, if you are complimenting a person's charity, take note of the work he did for a charity organization. The more specific you are, the better. Tell him how his actions inspired you or what exactly you appreciated about his gesture.
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"Compliment Sandwich"
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If you have a concern you wish to communicate with someone, use what psychologist Lyle Becourtney calls the "Compliment Sandwich." This allows you to minimize the defensiveness of the other person when explaining a concern. With this method, the "meat" (your concern or complaint) is surrounded by two pieces of bread (positive remarks or feedback). Begin with your first piece of bread, or a compliment, such as: "Your friendship is something I value greatly." Follow this up with your concern: "When you told Christa that secret I told you not to tell, it hurt my feelings. I want you to not violate my trust again" After discussing the matter further, follow it up with the second piece of bread: "I know I can always count on you."
Other Tips
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You can use compliments to better control communication. For example, if you want to switch focus in a situation where you feel uncomfortable talking about a subject, make a complimentary observation as a way out. This draws the focus to whatever is being complimented, such as a person's appearance. On the other hand, if you wish to draw attention to yourself, acknowledge to the person you're talking about what a great listener he is. When complimenting someone on a specific skill such as listening, the person will want to hone that skill further and thus will listen to you.
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References
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