Categories of Spouse Abuse

If your partner fights dirty, you may be a victim of spousal abuse.

Your spouse doesn't have to hit you to commit an act of abuse. In fact, physical pain may be the easiest to bear when compared to the other forms of abuse that a spouse can inflict. Whether you are being subjected to physical, emotional, verbal, psychological, sexual or financial abuse, spousal abuse is a serious offense and indicates a extremely unhealthy marriage.

Physical

Physical abuse is the most visible form of spousal abuse. It occurs any time one spouse strikes, pushes, pulls, kicks or otherwise makes contact with the other with the intent to cause physical harm. Trapping, holding, burning, shaking, choking and even tripping are all abuse. Even a hard thump on the arm can qualify as abuse. Some spouses choose to dismiss the occasional shove or slap as their partner having "a short fuse," but physical abuse is never justifiable and always a sign that the abusive spouse has serious problems.

Verbal

Sticks and stones can break bones, but bones mend. The power of words is much stronger. If a spouse engages in name-calling, says purposely hurtful things or speaks in a condescending or derisive tone to his partner, he is engaging in verbal abuse. So-called "mild" forms of verbal abuse, such as calling your spouse "stupid" when she forgets to turn off the oven before leaving home, can be seriously damaging to your marriage. Worse instances of verbal abuse can include shouting at your spouse when dinner is late or snapping at her repeatedly when she tries to speak with you.

Psychological

Because marriage is meant to be a haven of love and support, victims of psychological abuse often find themselves questioning their own sanity because of the abusive spouse's actions. Psychological abuse occurs, for example, when one spouse belittles another, diminishes his accomplishments, tries to make him feel useless without her, tells him he is worthless, threatens to harm a cherished object or person, embarrasses him both in public and private, is excessively possessive and heaps blame upon him for "making" her feel a certain way or do a certain thing. The purpose of psychological abuse is to gain control of the victim and make him feel helpless and trapped so that he will turn to his abuser for help.

Sexual

Sexual abuse is horrifying and degrading in addition to felonious and very likely marriage-ending. Between spouses, it is characterized by one spouse forcing the other to perform an unsafe, unhealthy or humiliating sexual act, ridiculing and trying to control her sexual preferences or reproductive choices or forcing her to watch or engage in pornography. It's common for sexual abuse to occur in conjunction with physical abuse. Victims of sexual abuse should not dismiss the abuse simply because it happened within the marriage.

Financial

Engaging in financial abuse destroys trust between spouses and can create seriously unhealthy attitudes regarding money, resulting in excessive and damaging frugality or irresponsible and compulsive spending. Financial abuse occurs when one spouse maliciously withholds money, clothing, shelter, medications or food from another, steals financial resources from him, uses his financial assets for selfish, personal gain or prevents him from becoming employed. Financially abusive spouses often have a warped need for total control over their partner and believe that control will be granted when the partner is totally financially dependent on them.

References

• American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress: Domestic Violence and Abuse: Types, Signs, Symptoms, Causes, and Effects