How to End Bad Language with Kids
Children swear for various reasons. They may be trying to feel grown up, they may be mimicking someone else or they may be trying to get a rise out of you. Stopping children from using foul language when the children are young is important, since they may make a habit out of swearing if you don't intervene.
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Stay Calm
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For a toddler or preschooler who says a few minor swearwords every now and then, ignoring it may be the best policy. The first few times he says a word you don't approve of, say nothing. If he repeats it, then calmly say, "We don't use that word," and change the subject. Speak in your normal speaking voice, and keep your body relaxed. Seeing you have a strong reaction may encourage the child to keep swearing in order to keep your attention.
Forbid It
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For a young child who swears repeatedly or an older child who knows the word she's using is naughty, make a family rule that swearing is not tolerated. Explain that you don't allow swearing because it hurts people's feelings and that using those words will make other people think she doesn't respect them. Help the child come up with a different way of expressing the same thought. If she's angry, suggest that she say, "Darn!" or "Grr!" If she wants to sound grown up and important, then teach her a new big vocabulary word that she can use in conversation to give herself the same feeling.
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Praise Positive Language
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When a child is swearing in order to get your attention, giving him positive attention rather than negative attention will satisfy him and make him feel proud of himself. Praise the child whenever you "catch" him not swearing. Say, "Good job" or "I like the way you used your words" when he verbalizes his frustration or anger rather than saying a swearword. Acknowledge his effort by saying, "I feel really proud when you use respectful language. Keep it up."
Give Consequences
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Take away rewards if the child continues using language you don't approve of. Set up a jar on a high shelf. Explain that every time she swears, you're going to put a quarter in the jar. At the end of each week, deduct the amount in the jar from her allowance. If she doesn't get allowance, then start a chart to count the number of times she swears. Each night, cut down the amount of TV time she's allowed by five minutes for every swearword she said that day.
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References
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