-
Step 1
Acknowledge and accept your feelings of anger, sadness and disappointment over the betrayal.
-
Step 2
Don't blame yourself for his actions. Remember that you can't be responsible for anyone's behavior other than your own.
-
Step 3
Try to set aside your emotions and look at the situation from an outsider's point of view. What advice would you give to your friend?
-
Step 4
Evaluate whether his behavior has permanently destroyed your trust in him and in your relationship. Do you believe he won't repeat his actions in the future?
-
Step 5
Confront your boyfriend and tell him exactly how you feel about his actions. Let him know that cheating is not acceptable behavior in your relationship.
-
Step 6
If you feel you need to know why he cheated on you to obtain closure for yourself, listen to his explanations about his behavior. Remember that listening does not mean you condone, agree with or accept his behavior.
-
Step 7
Don't allow him to manipulate your feelings with sweet words of apology or promises never to cheat on you again. Be realistic. Do you honestly believe this was a one-time event, or do your instincts tell you that he'll probably cheat on you again in the future?
-
Step 8
Ask yourself if you would be better off with him or without him. Can you continue to enjoy the relationship, knowing about the betrayal?
-
Step 9
Find a constructive outlet for your emotions of disappointment and anger.
-
Step 10
Give yourself time to grieve over the betrayal. Whether you stay with him or not, forgive him for his actions so you can heal and move on with your life.














Comments
lg777 said
on 1/4/2010 I found out two days ago, on New Year's Day, that my boyfriend of almost two years slept with a random girl he met at a club just over two months ago. In the week of the incident, his grandmother died and his adulterous father's daughter was born. I am still deeply in love with him and just cannot understand why he did this to me. I supported him through so much and this betrayal feels almost too much to take. I know I cannot go back because it would not only destroy every principle I have but also, after this it simply practically could never work. I don't want to become a neurotic, paranoid woman living my life with constant anxiety on my mind. I just want time to heal me and quickly so that I can move on with my life. I hope that no women reading this ever have to go through the pain I currently feel.
ninaross88 said
on 12/29/2009 I'd hate to be the one to say this myself, but things arent always what they seem.
kasey101 said
on 12/21/2009 I just found out that the guy that I was dating was indeed cheating on me, I am age 40 and he is 27, the only thing that he can say is that he is sorry..I dont want any additional explanation nor is he volunteering to give me any. Nevertheless, I spoke to the young lady that he was cheating on me with. Not only did I find out that she is pregnant with his child, but she have another girl pregnant and she is 6 months. I'm finished with him, I will never trust him again. He betrayed me and I am hurt and very angry. I dont hate him, but I do realize whatever we had or shared was one big lie. I have the rest of my life to meet someone that deserve and knows how to appreciate me and the love that I have to offer.
Thanks,
Kasey
aksnwbny said
on 12/8/2009 Register the cheater. Once a cheater always a cheater. Whether it be online infidelities on with some random. Remember you are young and beautiful and there is a real chance for love out there. It may not happen as soon as you would like, but seriously, he is just not into you or even love you. If he did he would have kept his little peep-pee in his pants. Do not be the fool twice in the relationship. There is still a chance for real love. Maybe not today or next week, but it is out there.
riza-vergil said
on 11/26/2009 guys are always like that.i have a problem with my boyfriend too but i choose to forgive him because of the reason that i love him.its easy to forgive than to forget. i think the best way is to think the best decision not just for him but especially for your own sake.