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Step 1
Acknowledge and accept your feelings of anger, sadness and disappointment over the betrayal.
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Step 2
Don't blame yourself for his actions. Remember that you can't be responsible for anyone's behavior other than your own.
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Step 3
Try to set aside your emotions and look at the situation from an outsider's point of view. What advice would you give to your friend?
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Step 4
Evaluate whether his behavior has permanently destroyed your trust in him and in your relationship. Do you believe he won't repeat his actions in the future?
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Step 5
Confront your boyfriend and tell him exactly how you feel about his actions. Let him know that cheating is not acceptable behavior in your relationship.
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Step 6
If you feel you need to know why he cheated on you to obtain closure for yourself, listen to his explanations about his behavior. Remember that listening does not mean you condone, agree with or accept his behavior.
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Step 7
Don't allow him to manipulate your feelings with sweet words of apology or promises never to cheat on you again. Be realistic. Do you honestly believe this was a one-time event, or do your instincts tell you that he'll probably cheat on you again in the future?
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Step 8
Ask yourself if you would be better off with him or without him. Can you continue to enjoy the relationship, knowing about the betrayal?
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Step 9
Find a constructive outlet for your emotions of disappointment and anger.
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Step 10
Give yourself time to grieve over the betrayal. Whether you stay with him or not, forgive him for his actions so you can heal and move on with your life.
Comments
4mybrokeheart said
on 6/28/2009 my boyfriend cheated on me when he was in another state for his best friends college graduation. He was planning a 3 day trip to yet another state when I found out he set up a secret email account and was replying to girls on a dating site trying to hook up with them while he was there. The day after I found out about the secret email I found out that he had cheated when he was gone for the college graduation. It was 6 months before I found out, I even got a STD and he tried to tell me it was some other infection and the dr was wrong cause he didn't have it. It happened over a year ago now, but I just don't know how to deal with it. We have been living together for 3 years.
rachie16 said
on 6/4/2009 I'am about 7 mths pregnant and just found my bf cheating. Don't know WTF to do cause I really don't want my baby going from house to house if he moves out. I found out about 3 wks ago. He was talking to 7 girls and was sleeping with two of them. One told me she knew nothing about me and the other girl told me that she knows about me and don't care cause they are not going to stop seeing one another. So of course he cried told me he would never do it again, changed his number and Blah Blah. But about 3 Dys ago I seen he got a texts from the some girl, that told me she did care about me. YES!! on his new number. Plz Help? I don't know WTF to do?
sarahlouisemt said
on 5/13/2009 my boyfriend cheated on me while he was in another state getting help for ptsd... he actually sent an email saying who he was and he was looking for some fun and sent it out to 10-20 random girls in the city he was staying at.. he was there for a month he slept with a girl there and even told her that he loved her.. i found out by looking through his phone and into his myspace.. he confessed and now says he will never do it again. he said he would do anything like go to counseling and what not.. now a decision for us to move came up ... i dont know what to do... should i move to cali with him and try to work on things!?! i dont know what to do. im so confused and hurt
karebear2629 said
on 4/24/2009 My bf cheated on me the night before thanksgiving I've been dating him for almost three years now and when i confronted him about it he lied straight to my face and got very angry. he was SCREAMING at me telling me he didn't do anything..It turns out that like 3 months later we took a 6 day break and he finally admitted it to me. I can't trust him and when i start to again he starts talking to other girls and he always says its nothing or its for a friend but i know its for him! I am a very loyal and trustworthy gf i have never done anything to hurt him and he is accusing me of cheating and talking to other guys. I'm so lost at this point i have just been trying and trying to trust him i don't know what to do anymore.. I know right now if someone reads this your going to think he's a slime ball, but i love that slime ball and will try anything to stay with him..please help me!
dollfacejunkie said
on 4/21/2009 cheating boyfriends suck!!!!!!!!!!!!