How to Be a Proper Guest at a Tea

A written invitation to a tea indicates a small, formal party honoring a bride, special guest or graduate. It's one of the oldest rituals in the world.

Difficulty:

Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need

• Women's Dress Coats
• Women's Dress Pants
• Women's Dress Shirts
• Women's Dress Shoes
• Women's Dress Sweater
• Etiquette Books
• Teapots
• dresses and skirts

1. Respond to the invitation as requested - regrets only, response card, telephone, etc. It's not casual, like asking someone to "come on by for a cuppa," and it requires an answer.

2. Note that most teas are held either at 12:30 to 1:00 p.m. or at the English high tea hour of 4:00 p.m. An afternoon party would necessarily be a bit more formal.

3. Learn a thing or two about tea, if you're interested. For example, a good green tea is not mixed with milk.

4. Dress according to local weather and customs, but usually a workplace dress or pants outfit is appropriate. An outside tea, if indicated, calls for a bit less formality; consider wearing a sundress or nice shorts, for example.

5. Inquire, if possible, about the occasion's purpose. Teas honoring graduates might call for a small gift if no other party is being held for them. A bridal tea is usually thrown to introduce the bride's out-of-town parents, and no present is expected.

6. Expect finger foods, tea sandwiches, salads and other appetizers.

7. Prepare yourself with loads of cheerful small talk.

Tips & Warnings

• The hostess pours the tea and hands out the cups, as tea cools very quickly.

• Don't ask for coffee if it isn't present, even if you're unaccustomed to drinking tea. Of course, if you have dietary restrictions, feel free to ask for water or something the host doesn't have to prepare.

• Consider bringing an assortment of teas in a gift basket for your hostess.

• Don't bring your own tea bags.