How to Be a Gracious Houseguest

The difference between a good guest and a great one is small, but critical. Here's how to get invited back time and time again.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Bikinis
• Matching Luggage Sets
• Thank-you Notes
• Houseplants
• Boxes Of Chocolates
• Wines
• Toiletries
• Wine Glasses
• Airline Tickets
• Stationery
• Swimming Fins
• Tennis Racquets

1. Arrange for your own transportation to the island, city, beach house or wherever your final destination may be, including airplane reservations, taxis at the station and rental cars, if necessary. And do it early!

2. Examine your stuff. Is your luggage adequate, or will you arrive like a hobo?

3. Pack proper clothing and gear. You really don't want to have to borrow tennis rackets, fins or a bikini, do you?

4. Arrange for proper care for the pets, children, mad uncle or fussy mother-in-law. Under no circumstances should you try to wrangle them an invite or bring them along, no matter what your hosts say.

5. Bring a gift. Wine, delicacies, books, stationery or plants are ideas.

6. Keep your opinions to yourself on the subject of your hosts' children, parenting abilities, eccentric cooking, beloved pets, decor or lack of it.

7. Treat everything of your hosts' with more care than you would your own, including their schedules, plans, timetables, children, tempers, moods and furnishings. Be on time for everything.

8. Make yourself at home when invited to do so, but don't take it literally. Clean up after yourself.

9. Be enthusiastic about all the planned activities. If you really, truly can't or desperately don't want to participate, be honest - and then entertain yourself.

10. Write a thank-you note when you return home, even if you've thanked them profusely already.

Tips & Warnings

• If your hosts have young children, aged parents or another family member that requires attention, take them shopping or for an ice cream. Read to them, play a game of tag, etc. - you'll earn big gold stars for this kind of thoughtfulness. Guaranteed.
• Taking your hosts to dinner at a nice restaurant is usually appreciated. This way, you can give them a gift while alleviating the workload.
• Strip the bed and leave the linens on the bed.
• Confess to breaking that vase, TV knob or potted plant. If the item appears valuable, make offers to repair or replace it. If it's of minor importance, apologize with sincerity and then never bring it up again.
• Leave on schedule, no matter how insistently your hosts ask you to stay. Leaving them wanting more ensures you'll be asked back.

[slaing]

on 8/22/2008 I know of two family members that are going to get this article - anonymously, of course. Thank you.

on 6/30/2006 To make house guests feel welcome and more at home, I always make sure they have everything they may need in their guest bedroom or bath. Books to read, TV remote, iron, extra blankets, several pillows (soft/medium/firm), stationery, stamps, pens, notepad, extra toothbrush, toothpaste, bubble bath, hair dryer, a new comb, shampoo and conditioner, disposable cups, etc. The list is endless. I always receive so many comments following a visit.

on 2/14/2006 If the host offers to pay for a meal, allow them to - once! At least make the offer to cover all the meals if you dine out. Don't get too comfortable and expect them to feed you everyday, especially if they are providing transportation as well. And don't let their opposite sex significant other pay every time, even if they insist; this could cause friction long after you're gone and may make you seem like an opportunistic leech.

on 1/26/2006 Make sure to inform your hosts of your daily plans, and to arrange all of your own transportation. If you need a car, rent one. And don't expect your hosts to loan you a car or provide lifts every day. Better yet, attempt to include your hosts in some of your activities. They may not want to join, but an invitation is courteous and always appreciated. Treat them to dinner at least once, and let them choose the restaurant.

on 1/9/2006 "Make yourself at home" should not be taken literally. Be especially aware of this when visiting close family, because it may be too easy to "do things your way". Don't use the family computer without permission, don't rearrange furniture, don't take off in the family car without permission and for long periods of time, and don't invite yourself into private rooms; such as the bedroom or master bath. I have all of these happen to me on a regular basis and it makes for a very tense visit.