How to Be Politically Incorrect

Many people like to find relief from the oppressive regime of political correctness by indulging in offensive, inappropriate and completely insensitive behavior. This type of humor is best when it's good-natured rather than malicious, but be careful whom you offend.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Running Shoes
• Etiquette Books (ignore As You Please)
• Joke Books

1. Speak of women as sexual objects and refer to men as witless Neanderthals.

2. Find out about various stereotypes and make offensive jokes out of them. There are many stereotypes to choose from, including those dealing with race, ethnicity, gender, religion and sexuality.

3. Consider physical and mental disabilities as fodder for sarcastic comments and other types of jokes.

4. Include large amounts of sexual innuendo in your speech.

5. Flee in terror from politically correct witch hunters.

Tips & Warnings

• Depending on what sort of political climate you live in, you may develop a reputation for being politically incorrect without even trying. If you're not letting the chains of political correctness cloud your thinking and speech, you may already be politically incorrect.

[yuyiya]

on 10/18/2009 You forgot this: for maximum impact, seek out a high-powered convocation (or congregation) of do-gooders; submit a worthy outline of an address you could make on some current concern (finding innovative ways to fleece governments and wring pennies from little old ladies is sure to grab their attention); then, when delivering your address, be sure to illustrate the talk with memorable and too-appropriate jokes.

But **** for an excellent effort!

[johnskay]

on 10/18/2009 The true no-minds of this world are those who expound 'political correctness' to new heights of absurdity. Forget common sense- that disappeared from general use a long ago. I mean, come on- sentencing an excited 6 year old little boy to boarding school for 45 days because he used his new cubscout utility knife to eat his lunch at (elementary) school. You know the one- that 'weapon' with the cheap little knife, fork and spoon all in a single part. (the light was finally seen, though. Now it's only a three day or so suspension.)

[hlejames]

on 2/16/2009 LOL! Too funny! Don't worry, people are offended by my sense of humor as well. 5*'s and a recommend.

[kaiti]

on 8/21/2007 I'm in a wheelchair too, and I always joke with my friends about being a "cripple". And they affectionately refer to me as the cripple, too. So don't make generalisations about what'll offend. I like the term handicapped, also.

on 12/16/2005 I also use a wheelchair, but in some ways much prefer handicapped to disabled, as disabled suggests something like a dead battery to me, whereas handicapped can mean just hindered. Remember, in races, it's the horse with the largest handicap that's considered the best.
Your best bet? Don't get hung up on terminology or the generalizations it can foster. Appreciate each person's unique strengths.