How to Modify Your Visitation Schedule Without Court Intervention

Talk to the other parent about your concerns, and try to work out changes that will benefit everyone involved.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Talk to the other parent if you feel the current visitation schedule is not working. Express your concerns without anger or accusations.

2. Make concrete suggestions about what can be done to improve the situation. Sometimes there are small changes that can be made, such as changing pick-up times or allowing the child to have phone contact with the parent that is not there.

3. Look at the schedule to see how it can be rearranged to better suit everyone's commitments. If the other parent has bowling on Wednesday evenings, it is probably best if that parent's time with the child is scheduled for another evening.

4. Focus on what will be good for your child. You may want your child to be with you every weekend, but it is probably best if the child has weekend time with both parents. Make room for both parents in your child's life.

5. Write down any changes you have agreed to.

6. Decide whether you need to have the changes ordered by the court. If you both agree to the changes and trust each other to follow them, there may be no need to go to the expense and trouble of having the court order the changes. You know what you agreed to and will abide by it. If you have trouble with the other parent not following the schedule, you should have the court make the changes official.

7. See a mediator if you are having trouble agreeing on modifications to the schedule. A mediator can help you work out a schedule that will benefit everyone involved.

Tips & Warnings

• Keep the schedule simple and easy to remember. If visitation days are going to be different every week, it is likely that someone will become confused and the child will become stressed.
• Remember to be flexible with each other and the child. No schedule should be set in stone. Be willing to make occasional changes to accommodate each other, as well as your child.
• Be aware that even if you agree to change the schedule but do not have it ratified by the court, the other parent could potentially accuse you of violating the original schedule. Because you both agreed to make the change, he or she would not have much of a case, but it is a consideration if you do not get along well.