How to Forgive Someone who Lost Respect from You

The repair of a long-term friendship requires patience and understanding.

During the course of a long-term friendship, situations regarding questions of character and decision-making often arise. Whether points of contention arise between friends or family members, the need to extend forgiveness and exercise understanding remains paramount. In addition, friends negotiate extended periods of uncertainty and conflict by turning to shared memories and instances of reciprocal support. The efficient use of respect aids in the repair of a damaged personal relationship.

Instructions

1. Write down the key features that made the friendship special. Record items such as shared vacations, favorite rituals and phrases associated with the long-term friendship. Additionally, write down the a list of reasons to mend the friendship to include the instances in which the friend displayed reliability and respectful behavior.

2. Take a second to look at a memorable picture or a treasured gift given by the friend. Remember the circumstances surrounding the keepsake, along with revisiting the emotions felt when the friend gave you the item. Also, take into account the gifts or keepsakes you have personally given to your friend.

3. Review the circumstances to evaluate the circumstances regarding the contentious incident or decision made by the friend. Evaluate the situation form a personal standpoint. Personally answer questions regarding the situation such as, "given the circumstances, would I the same decision?" In addition, consult a trusted, shared acquaintance for insight into the contentious matter.

4. Call, visit or write the friend to extend an invitation to a favorite activity such as dinner at a restaurant or a visit to a sporting event. Take the opportunity to alleviate doubts regarding questions of the friend's character or decision-making process by discussing the matter while showing respect and patience. Additionally, extend a verbal gesture of forgiveness in response to the previous argument or blowout.

References

• Life Script; How to Mend a Broken Friendship; Rose Alexander; April 2, 2008
• Vibrant Nation; 5 Ways to Mend a Broken Friendship; Irene Levine; Aug. 26, 2009