How Do I Stop Clashing With My Teenagers?
While all parents want a good relationship with their teenagers, this is often challenging. Whether it involves arguing about curfews or repeatedly telling them to clean their rooms, clashing with teenagers becomes exhausting for many parents. If an argument spirals out of control, both parties may say things they regret. To avoid this, parents must develop ways to defuse arguments with their teenagers.
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Instructions
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Recognize that your teenager is going through a difficult time. When children become teenagers, their bodies go through changes and they often struggle to to find their identity. The next time your teenager argues with you, don't take it personally. Instead, tell her that you know she's going through a difficult time and that you are always available to talk to her.
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Do not call your teenager negative names, such as lazy, stupid or selfish. While it is easy to use these negative labels when you are angry, it will make the situation worse. You may make your teenager feel bad, and make him angrier at you.
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Establish rules. When you and your teenager are both calm, talk to her about the importance of respecting you and obeying your rules. For example, say, "I know that you don't always agree with everything I have to say, and it is normal to have your own viewpoint. However, I am your parent and I try to do what's best for you. I expect you to obey my rules and talk to me in a respectful manner if you disagree with me." Explain to her the behaviors that are unacceptable, such as cursing, coming home past curfew and not doing homework, and why they are unacceptable.
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Reward your teenager for good behavior. If you give him incentives, he is more likely to behave well. One way to keep track of your teenager's good behavior is to create a chart. Whenever he exhibits good behavior, such as cleaning his room or finishing his homework on time, give him a point. Once he receives a certain amount of points, give him a reward, such as taking him to his favorite restaurant or buying him the video game he wants. When you give him a reward, tell him that you are proud of him for improving his behavior.
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Talk to your teenager after an argument. If you ignore her, she will think that you don't care about her feelings. When you calm down, make amends with her by saying, "I am sorry we had an argument. Even though we don't always see eye to eye on things, I want you to know that I love you unconditionally."
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References
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