How to Deal With a Passive-Aggressive Colleague

A passive-aggressive colleague may test your patience in the workplace.

Passive-aggressive behavior impedes personal and professional relationships by concealing negative emotions such as anger and fear beneath a more placid, but dishonest, demeanor. A passive-aggressive colleague may engage in negative behavior such as projecting blame, gossiping about co-workers, consistently showing up late or sabotaging deadlines and projects by not completing tasks on time. Though this can be very frustrating, you can take steps to curb, or at least disengage yourself from, this counterproductive behavior.

Instructions

1. Leave a paper trail. Document instructions for any shared project with divided responsibility so you have proof later on of who was responsible for what. Have co-workers initial weekly memos or meeting minutes that you can send on to your supervisor.

2. Don't go through your colleague to get information from your boss or other co-workers. Take it upon yourself to get the instructions for any project directly from your supervisor.

3. Be clear in your communication. State your expectations and require your passive-aggressive colleague to give concrete information in return, such as timelines and commitments. Document for extra protection.

4. Stay calm in your interactions. It may frustrate you to deal with someone who may hide behind tears or avoidance, but you must maintain the integrity of the situation by staying on task.

5. Do not participate in or encourage negative behavior. If your passive-aggressive colleague begins to gossip, disengage immediately. Do not laugh at inappropriate jokes at the expense of others, either.

6. Communicate face to face. Do not allow your passive-aggressive colleague to hide behind emails or snide jokes. Probe a little deeper to get him to say what he really means directly to your face.

7. Leave emotion out of it. Since feelings such as fear or anger drive passive-aggressive behavior, accusatory language -- such as, "You're always late." -- can make your colleague withdraw further. Instead, point out the behavior and leave the person separate from the facts.

8. Don't fall prey to tears. If someone cries to get out of the spotlight, allow her to compose herself but return to deal with the issue when emotions are more under control.

9. Tell your co-worker how his behavior makes you feel. Be honest without going on the attack so your colleague can see the consequences of his behavior on the workplace.

References

• Employee Assistance Services: Passive Aggressive Coworker
• Harvard Business Review: 3 Ways to Deal with a Passive-Aggressive Colleague
• CareerBuilders: 5 Ways to Deal With Passive Aggressive Colleagues