How to Dress When Going to a Memorial at a House

It's important to dress appropriately for a memorial.

A funeral or memorial service can be a somber and emotional time for the family and friends of deceased loved ones. And many survivors prefer to grieve in the comfort of home, perhaps a home that was shared with the departed. While this trend in memorial services was inspired to move away from the cold and unfamiliar atmosphere of funeral homes and churches, it has created some uncertainty for attendees about what to wear to such a memorial service. There are ways to ensure you don't become a distraction at a memorial service held in a home.

Instructions

1. Wear the same clothes you would wear if the memorial took place in a church. You can't go wrong by donning classic garb when attending a memorial service, regardless of where it is held. For men, this means a basic black suit with a white collared shirt, black tie and black shoes and socks. For women this means a dark dress that is not too short, black flat- or low-heeled shoes, tasteful makeup and little or no jewelry.

2. Dress in a uniform or outfit from the context in which you are most strongly connected to the deceased. For example, you might wear a jersey from your high school football team to the memorial of a former teammate, or military medals to a memorial for a fellow service member. Consider wearing only an accessory or carrying a prop from the context in which you knew the deceased while otherwise wearing classic funeral clothes. To continue the example, you might dress formally and merely carry the football jersey.

3. Accommodate any fashion requests from the bereaved. As the Funeral Planning website points out, some modern memorial services feature T-shirts that bear photographs of the deceased and a brief message. If you are asked to wear such an item to a memorial service held at a house, comply with the wishes of the survivors.

Tips & Warnings

• You can wear something unconventional to a funeral if you had a close relationship with the deceased, wish to celebrate an aspect of his personality through your clothing and your outfit is unlikely to create a distraction from the grief and solemnity of the occasion. Colorful clothes are normally inappropriate and your clothing should be clean and neat.

• As advice site The Fashionables notes, what is appropriate to wear to a memorial service will vary among cultures, so it is important that you check with others who have experience with death and mourning when attending a memorial with people of a different culture. A further consideration is religion; some religions impose strict modesty standards on women.

References

• Herron Funeral Home: Funeral Etiquette
• Funeral Planning: Funeral Clothing: What to Wear
• Dummies.com: What to Do, Say, and Wear at Funerals; Sue Fox
• The Fashionables: How To Appropriately Dress For A Funeral?; December 21, 2009