How to Improve Brother and Sister Relationships

Teaching children early how to treat a sibling can pay off later in life.

Brothers and sisters hold a unique place in our lives. Not only do they share parents with us, but they know our personal histories in ways that friends, especially new friends, do not. Sibling bonds change over time and as a result of life experiences, which is why working to maintain these special relationships takes thought and action.

Instructions

1. Treat your sibling with respect. It is easy to take siblings for granted, but it is important to treat a brother or sister with the same respect that you would demonstrate toward a friend or acquaintance. Refrain from saying negative things about your sibling, especially when she is not present, and avoid making any reference to past negative experiences or events. If something your sibling does irritates or frustrates you, but it is a not worth discussing, air your grievances in a personal journal. For more significant issues that you need to address with a sibling, give thought beforehand as to when and how the the problem should be discussed. Not springing a heated discussion on your sibling is one way to demonstrate respect and kindness for your sibling's position.

2. Tell your sibling you are happy when you see him happy. When you know your sibling better than anyone, it is easy to fall into the trap of believing that you know what is best for him. When a sibling has made a life decision and is happy, it can also be easy to overlook the happiness and focus on the validity of the decision. Avoid judging your sibling and focus on your sibling's positive feelings; he is in the best position to know what is best for him. And if, by chance, your sibling is wrong, be there for him when the chips are down and don't say, "I told you so."

3. Involve your sibling in your life. As we grow into adulthood, and into our own lives, it is easy for sibling relationships to get lost in the mix. Prioritize your relationship with your sibling by inviting her to important events in your life and by telephoning or emailing at least once a week to update one another on what is happening in your respective worlds. If you live nearby your sibling, schedule a monthly date --- a time when you and your sibling meet for a cup of coffee or go to the movies --- which will allow you to invest in and enjoy your relationship with one another.

References

• Improving Your World: Daily tips for improving brother sister relationships

Resources

• Dr. Phil