Activities on How to Be an Effective Listener

Effective listeners share the talking time and don't dominate the conversation.

People often confuse "hearing" and "listening", assuming they are synonyms when in reality learning how to be an effective listener requires much more concentration. Rather than just noting the sound of someone's voice, an effective listener must pay close attention to words, their meaning and emotional impact. Active listeners listen for clues to understand the other person's point of view without constantly interjecting their own advice and opinion. Listening strengthens the communication between two parties by making the speaker feel supported, understood and appreciated while building a personal connection that enhances trust and openness. Activities on how to be an effective listener build skills for conflict resolution and interpersonal relationships.

Things You'll Need

• Chart paper
• Marker
• Tape recorder, video camera or digital recorder.

Instructions

1. Ask students to share personal stories of times when they needed someone to listen to them because they were happy, sad, angry or frustrated. Ask what made the other person a good or poor listener. Develop a class list of characteristics of a good listener and a poor one.

2. Recruit a volunteer to start talking to you about a topic of his choice. In round one, interrupt, look away, laugh at inappropriate times and ask unrelated questions or try to change the topic. Ask the class to identify all the ineffective listening habits that you demonstrated. Repeat the demonstration, but this time make eye contact, nod, don't interrupt, and ask related questions to verify you are understanding the speaker's thoughts and feelings. Have the class identify the effective listening habits. Then pair students up and ask them to do the same activity, with the listener employing as many active listening strategies as possible. Have the listener and the speaker switch places after a few minutes so everyone gets a chance to practice.

3. Ask someone to give a three- to five-minute speech to the class. Record the talk as she gives it. Instruct students to employ all their active listening skills during the talk and take notes about what the speaker says. After the presentation, have students take turns sharing what they heard and understood about the message. If different people heard different things, discuss why that happens. Ask the speaker to clarify which viewpoint was closer to the point she was trying to get across, or replay the speech and compare what was actually said to how others interpreted it.

4. Read several short scenarios such as, "Your boss asks you to get copy paper, staples, tape and whiteout from the supply room. You bring her staples, whiteout and copy paper. What did you forget?" or "You are the pilot of a Harrier jet. Your directions say to fly north 70 miles, veer southeast for 12 miles, then north for 17 miles and 38 miles east. How old is the pilot?" (Answer: You are the pilot. How old are you?). Let students mull over the questions and come up with an answer. Discuss how important it is to listen carefully for the little details. Noticing the small things and paying attention to nuances makes the difference between a casual hearer and an effective listener.

References

• Resource Center for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention: Active Listening to Provide Emotional Support
• Penn State University: Information About Active Listening
• Oklahoma Department of Career and Technology Education: Improving Listening Skills
• Baylor University: Communication and Listening Skills
• Healing Trauma: Four Exercises to Practice Active Listening

Resources

• Oregon Health and Science University: Best Practices for Active Listening
• Learning Through Listening: Teaching Listening
• University of Kentucky: Active Listening