How to Avoid Confrontation in Marriage

Unfortunately, no marriage is completely free of conflict.

A little confrontation in a marriage is normal; after all, most wedding vows do include the words "for better or for worse." Trying to avoid all conflict whatsoever is futile and could have a negative impact on your relationship, says Dr. Larry Nadig. How you deal with any disagreements is much more important than attempting to avoid them and can prevent minor quarrels from becoming major blowouts. Being realistic about your relationship is the first step toward avoiding confrontation and reducing marital conflict.

Instructions

1. Listen to each other, but don't push your opinion on your spouse. While communication is essential in a relationship, listening to each other is just as important. You can avoid most arguments by taking the time to listen to thoroughly listen to each other's point of view.

2. Swallow your pride and admit when you are wrong. There is no need for a serious confrontation if you admit when you are at fault rather than trying to justify your wrongdoing. Everyone makes mistakes and your spouse will appreciate you having the courage to be honest, even if she may be angry for a while.

3. Step away from each other for a while if you feel tensions rising, recommends a WebMD article. Rather than sticking around and arguing when you're both upset, take a little time away from each other. Sometimes, quiet time to think and calm down is enough to prevent a minor disagreement turning into a full-blown argument.

4. Understand the need for some conflict in your relationship. If you try too hard to avoid confrontation altogether, you both risk bottling up frustrations. Doing so can make you bitter, leading to bigger arguments. It is better to have the odd minor disagreement than a huge fallout that takes you a while to get over.

5. Make time for each other by setting aside a block of time easy day to touch base with each other and find out what the other has been doing. Busy home and work lives often lead to neglected personal lives. This time together will help resolve any issues you may have and may also bring you closer together.

Tips & Warnings

• Try to see the bright side of any negative experience; sometimes a little humor is enough to prevent an argument, says WebMD.

• Do not ignore any problems you have. If you continually gloss over issues in your relationship, you risk facing bigger problems in the future.

References

• WebMD; How to Stop Fighting; Tips for Married Couples; January 2009
• Dr. Nadig; Relationship Conflict; Larry Alan Nadig, Ph.D.
• Kathy J. Marshack; Don't Avoid Conflict and Confrontation when You Work with Your Spouse; Kathy J. Marshack, Ph.D.

Resources

• WebMD; Secrets to a Happy Marriage; Sean Elder; June 2007