How to Deal With Being Put Down

Insults and put downs hurt regardless of age.

Insults and put downs hurt no matter who you are. We teach children not to let words hurt them, but the truth is that even adults will feel harmed by someone's thoughtless words. You cannot control another person's cruelty. What you can control is how you react when these put downs occur. Your reactions will often determine how that person treats you in the future. A calm demeanor is most likely to keep these insults from happening again.

Instructions

1. Remain calm. Your first instinct may be to fight back, but that will do nothing but give the insulter the satisfaction of knowing that he hurt you.

2. Remember that the person putting you down is most likely hurting himself. Understanding that this person is dealing with his own issues can help you to let the insults slide off your back.

3. Express your feelings. Explain that what was said was hurtful and that you didn't appreciate it.

4. Explain how you should be treated. Let the person who put you down know that you deserve to be treated with respect.

5. Use an unexpected comeback. Tell your insulter something like, "Thank you for your opinion," and provide no further explanation. It will end the conversation without the confrontation that your insulter wanted.

6. Remember that your self-worth is not dependent on another person's snide remarks. You know who you are and you do not need this person's validation.

References

• The Confidence Guy; How to Deal with People Who Put You Down; February 2009
• Life with Confidence; How to Deal with People Who Put You Down; Catherine Pratt