How to Behave When a Friend Ignores You as an Adult

When a friend ignores you, you might have to accept that your friendship is over.

Being ignored as an adolescent is often part of growing up, as you flip-flop in and out of friendships like the change of the wind. However, when you're an adult and you've been friends with someone who ignores you, it can be a shock. This can leave you without knowing what to do. No matter if you've been friends with someone for months or you have a friendship that dates back to your childhood, handle the situation carefully to find out if getting ignored was intentional, or not.

Instructions

1. Take into account that your friend might not have intentionally ignored you. She might not have seen you or she might not have been focused. Before jumping to conclusions, think if reasons exist why she would have ignored you, such as a previous argument or an issue between the two of you.

2. Contact your friend to bring the situation to his attention. Start your conversation casually by greeting him politely. Ask him if he was the person you thought you saw. Tell him your impression that you believe he ignored you. Let him know that both of you must have missed each other, and that you want to be sure that everything is okay.

3. Ask her if a problem exists, especially if she acknowledges that she saw you and that she ignored you on purpose. Remain calm and avoid being accusatory or gruff. Begin your statements with "I statements" that describe how you feel or what you thought might have occurred, such as "I felt bad that you didn't say Hello," instead of "You didn't acknowledge me."

4. Prepare yourself for your friend's reply, knowing that the response might not be what you want to hear. Try to get to the bottom of the situation without lingering. Understand that it is possible that your friend ignored you on purpose and that he has no plans for continuing the friendship.

5. Move on if your friend isn't interested in remaining friends. Leave the situation alone and don't force yourself on your friend. Continue with your life, knowing that -- for whatever reason -- the friendship might be over, indefinitely.

References

• Today; Is your friendship not working?; Dr. Gail Saltz
• Psychology Today; "Help Dealing with a Friend Who Cops an Attitude"; Donna Flagg; June 2010