How Do I Get My Friend to Stop Being Lame?

Plan a game of one-on-one with your friend each day after school.

Whether your friend isn't polished in his social skills or he needs a little fine-tuning in the fashion department, you can help him become the person he wants to be by teaching him new ways to act and dress. Before taking on this project, make sure your friend is on board. Let him come to you for assistance; don't assume he is lame, just because he is different than you.

Instructions

1. Plan a meeting with your friend. Ask him to explain why he thinks he is lame. Make sure your friend offers specific examples such as how he acts toward peers or what kind of clothing his wardrobe contains.

2. Determine if your friend is feeling pressure from classmates. Often low self-esteem is a byproduct of name-calling. If you can understand the source of his emotions, you may be able to alleviate some of his negative feelings about himself.

3. Be a friend. Even if you think your friend has a point and he is quite different than others, boost his self-esteem by pointing out his good qualities. It's important for him to understand that being unique does not have to be negative.

4. Work with your friend to help him gain self-confidence. Role-play various school situations and explain how each can be properly handled. Take him shopping and pick out new clothes that are not only fashionable but make your friend feel good about himself.

5. Plan a workout regimen with your friend. Staying active will keep you both healthy and will also allow your friend's mind to focus on something other than what his peers are thinking and saying. Regular aerobic and weight-training exercises can be performed each day after school.

6. Speak with a parent of school counselor if you fear that your friend is depressed. It is normal for children to put themselves down from time to time, but if you notice a pattern of constant self-deprecating behavior, your friend may need professional help.

Tips & Warnings

• If your friend comes to you for help, do not talk about his issues with others.

• Rather than trying to change your friend, help him accept himself and appreciate his good qualities.

References

• TeensHealth: Body Image and Self-Esteem
• TeensHealth: How Can I Improve My Self-Esteem?
• DoSomething.org: 11 Facts about Teens and Self-Esteem
• Palo Alto Medical Foundation: A Positive Image: Self-esteem