How to Help Divorced Dads Get Organized

A divorced dad can still spend quality time with his children.

Divorce is a major life event. According to Dr. Linda Neilson in the Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, men often suffer from depression and associated problems more than women after a divorce. Divorce is painful for men and women, but many men also lose contact with their children. Alongside this emotional pain, a man will often have to completely review his finances and living arrangements. However, there are many men who do survive this difficult stage in their lives and have successful relationships with their children. If you are in a position to help a newly divorced man become organized, you will improve his chances of this happening.

Instructions

1. Encourage the divorced dad to make decisions and arrangements as soon as possible. It is best for all concerned if a state of uncertainty is not allowed to continue. If the divorcing parents can reach amicable childcare and financial arrangements, this is ideal. If this is not possible without help, advise them to attend mediation. If legal action is the only possible way, advise the dad to help himself by presenting the best possible impression to the court.

2. Help the dad to make a home that is appropriate for children. Steer him away from creating a bachelor pad or living in a student-type environment. His children need to feel secure when they are in his place. It should be child friendly and the children should be able to keep possessions in his apartment or house.

3. Help the father to improve his time-management skills. Things become more complicated when parents no longer live together. He needs to juggle his work, some semblance of a social life and his children. He may have to travel to pick up his children. Emphasize to him that maintaining his relationship with his children must be a priority, particularly in the immediate future, as this is time a lot of dads lose contact with their kids.

4. Encourage the dad to address his finances. Divorce almost inevitably has an adverse effect on a person's financial situation. If he is stressed, it may be tempting for him to ignore the problem of his finances. This, however, will make the situation worse. If he needs financial help or advice, steer him in the right direction.

Tips & Warnings

• Do not forget that he will need emotional support, particularly from someone who will listen to him. Provide him with as much emotional support as you can, but if he needs more than you can give, suggest that he see a counselor.

References

• Reuters: Downsizing, Divorced Dads- - Single Dads Stressed
• SPARC; Disenfranchising, Demeaning, and Demoralizing Divorced Dads; Dr. Linda Nielsen; 1999