How to Approach a Friend With a Bad-Mannered Kid

Tactfully handle an awkward situation with your friend's child to maintain control of your home.

In many cases, your style of discipline may not be the same as the method your friend uses with her child. It's important to be respectful of the ways other people choose to deal with their children, but it's also OK to ask your friend for a compromise, especially if the child is misbehaving while under your care. Above all, be polite and tactful when approaching a friend with a bad-mannered kid.

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Instructions

- 1
  
  Ask your friend if you can discuss the child's behavior. Approach the subject in a way that isn't aggressive and doesn't assign blame. Simply state that you've noticed some aspects of the child's manners you would like to talk about.
- 2
  
  Bring up specific behaviors the child has displayed. It's not enough to say that the child was misbehaving or being rude. Point out exactly what the child did that you think was ill-mannered.
- 3
  
  Give your friend a chance to respond. In some cases, a parent might not know about the behavior or does not realize it is happening under your care. Let your friend discuss the behavior with you. Perhaps there is a reason for the behavior that you don't know about, or perhaps your friend does not agree that the child is exhibiting bad manners.
- 4
  
  Ask your friend how she responds when the child displays bad manners at home. If the child is someone you consistently have in your care or around your own kids, it's important to know what disciplinary tactics your friend employs and respect her parenting style.
- 5
  
  Suggest tactics you use with your own children or brainstorm with your friend some ways to help the child learn better manners. Your friend might be willing to listen to your advice if you communicate in a caring and supportive manner. However, if your friend is not willing to hear your ideas, respect her boundaries.
- 6
  
  Communicate your own boundaries about what is appropriate if the child is in your care. Explain that you may have certain rules about manners in your home and ask your friend to communicate these rules to her child. This way, even if you have different parenting styles, the child will know what is appropriate and not appropriate when under your care.