How to Deal With a Severely Depressed Boyfriend

Dealing with your boyfriend's depression can be emotionally draining.

For those who have never suffered from depression, the illness can be difficult to understand. When your boyfriend exhibits symptoms from his severe depression you may feel confused, upset and even annoyed. However, when you love and care about someone, you want to do everything that you can to help them feel better. Finding strategies to help both you and your boyfriend cope with his severe depression is essential if you want to help him recover and improve your relationship.

Instructions

1. Educate yourself about depression. Realize that severe depression is not simply feeling sad. The University of Michigan states that severe depression is characterized by intense recurring feelings of hopelessness, loss of interest in activities and hobbies, fatigue, changes in sleep and thoughts of suicide. Understand that severe depression is not something that your boyfriend can simply stop feeling.

2. Listen to him when he communicates with you about what he is feeling. Don't dismiss his feelings as irrational. Work hard to empathize with him about what he is going through. Let him know that you understand and that he can always turn to you if he needs help.

3. Discuss the many options for treatment that your boyfriend has available to him. Sometimes severely depressed people forget that there are ways to receive help and get better. Recommend a psychologist, psychiatrist or therapist. Offer to go with him to his first appointment for emotional support. Do not force your boyfriend into getting therapy. Instead, encourage him to go when he is ready.

4. Stay active. Exercise can be a great way to alleviate some of the symptoms associated with depression. Plan fun activities for you and your boyfriend, such as visiting a local playground together, going on a hike or bike ride or joining a new gym together and attending group fitness classes.

5. Focus on yourself as well. Don't forget to take care of yourself. Spend time with your other friends and family members. Do things that you enjoy. Make time for alone time away from your boyfriend. Remember that you are not your boyfriend's doctor. Instead, you are there to provide emotional support and you can only be supportive if you are feeling happy and healthy.

Tips & Warnings

• If your boyfriend shows signs of being suicidal --- has a plan, has the means available, thinks there's no way out of the pain or is threatening suicide --- call 911, the police or a suicide hotline immediately.

References

• Psychology Today; Embracing the Dark Side; Jenna Baddeley; May 2009
• Health: 16 Ways to Support Someone With Depression
• Bucknell University: How To Help A Friend With Depression
• University of Michigan Depression Center: Understanding Clinical Depression