How to Amend for Mistakes

The words "I'm sorry" can make both parties feel better and heal a rift.

Making amends for past mistakes is emotionally challenging and can be time-consuming. In order to properly make amends, you need to find the individual that you hurt and make it right. If the person doesn't want to see you, you have to find a way to move on. Some individuals reject attempts to make amends. If that happens, you need to acknowledge to yourself that you tried. The important thing is that you do everything possible to rectify the situation.

Instructions

1. Find the person you have wronged and admit that you were wrong. This may involve a confession, taking the blame or admitting guilt. Apologize for what you did. For example, if you stole from someone, find the individual, meet him face-to-face and confess.

2. Express how remorseful you feel and accept the responsibility. Be sincere. For example, if you caused a rift between two friends, tell them how sorry you are and that it is all your fault. Tell them it will never happen again.

3. Repair the situation. This is not always possible, but make restitution in whatever way you can. If you stole money, repay it. If you don't know how you can repair the situation, ask the individual if you can do anything to make it better.

4. Ask for forgiveness. Both parties will feel better and get past the situation if the individual says "I forgive you." These words symbolize that amends have been made and you can move on.

References

• "The Power of Apology: Healing Steps to Transform All Your Relationships"; Beverly Engel; July 2001
• Comox Valley Community Justice Center: Apologies
• Self Connection: "The Power of Apology"; Beverly Engel; 2002