How to Avoid Inappropriate Questions
Committing a social faux pas in conversation is not only embarrassing, it can damage personal and professional relationships. One of the easiest ways to be inappropriate is by asking intrusive and rude questions. Avoid this by monitoring a few key aspects of the conversation and social situation.
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Instructions
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Ask questions only when there's a good reason to do so. Think about every question you might want to ask and consider whether you really are entitled to know the answer, or if you just happen to be curious. If just curious, only ask the question if it's connected to a safe topic of conversation, such as the weather, hobbies, work or anything that isn't potentially embarrassing or of a highly personal nature.
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Replace questions with statements of interest or leading statements wherever you can, especially if you can be nonspecific. For example, instead of asking, "How did your surgery go?" you might say, "I hope everything went well for you with your surgery," or better yet, "I hope everything went well on Tuesday" (with Tuesday being the day of the surgery).
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Avoid asking questions related to areas that are private, such as finances, mental and emotional health, sex or any area of life and experiences that you know is an emotionally difficult one for the person.
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Watch for signs of discomfort in the person you're talking to as you move from topic to topic. If the topic you're discussing causes the person to shift uncomfortably, withdraw from you physically or turn away or to start to answer questions with shorter and more impersonal answers, this is probably an uncomfortable topic. Avoid asking probing questions in areas that cause these kinds of reactions.
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Ask fewer questions the more public your conversation is and the more other people can hear it. Some questions may be perfectly appropriate for you to ask of someone else, but they become inappropriate when you ask them in front of other people whom the person does not trust as much.
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Qualify questions when you ask them to give the person an "out" to not answer them. Say something like, "I apologize if this is a nosy question, but..." or "Feel free not to answer this if it's out of place, but..." This kind of qualifier indicates that you don't feel like you're entitled to an answer; use this in places where you want to ask a question to show that you're concerned and interested in a person's welfare, but aren't yet sure if they're ready to disclose certain information to you.
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