How to Approach Your Boyfriend About the Future

Have a heart-to-heart with your boyfriend.

Advancing your relationship with your boyfriend can be both exciting and nerve-racking. When you're ready to discuss how you two will operate as a pair moving into the future, there are several things to consider. From being exclusive to each of your views on marriage and family, have a heart-to-heart with him so you can get on the same page.

Instructions

1. Let your boyfriend know you want to talk to him. Give yourselves time when neither of you will be distracted nor have to worry about the constraints of time. Sit down in a casual space that is comfortable for both of you, such as your living room or bedroom.

2. Express your feelings for him and the relationship. Let him know areas that really make you happy, as well as some issues you both can work on for the future. Allow him to respond and share his feelings as well.

3. Ask him specific questions about his future plans and where he sees the relationship going. Use this opportunity to listen to exactly what he says and to describe his feeling about the future. Ask him if he's happy with your relationship and what advancing into the future looks like to him.

4. Compare and contrast your ideas versus his. Continue to discuss issues that are important to you, such as views on moving in together, spending more time with each other's family, general ideas on marriage and perhaps even a question or two about children, if that is of interest.

5. Paint a mental picture for him of how you see your future, and then provide examples of how your ideal future would look like if he were in it. Ask him to do the same. Discuss similarities and differences to be able to decide how best to proceed. If your relationship is new, the future may not include a lot of serious factors, like marriage, and could simply involve introducing each other to family or being exclusive.

References

• "Psychology Today"; Relationship Rules; Hara Estroff Marano; May 2011