How to Teach Children About Gossip

Speak to your kids about gossip on a car ride to school or at play.

Children learn more than just ABCs in preschool and grade school. They also learn about social interactions and about the pitfalls of gossip and rumors. Children will spread gossip for several reasons, including the need to "fit in" with their friends, for control, and as a way to feel special or to impress others. Teaching children when they're young that spreading rumors and gossip is unacceptable will help them become more responsible, trustworthy adults.

Instructions

1. Talk to the child about what the words "rumor", "gossip and "secret" mean. Explain to the child that gossip and rumors happen when a friend or classmate tells him something that is secret or private about another person. Tell the child that a secret is a piece of private information that is scary or embarrassing and something he would only want his best friend to know. Keep the definitions simple and on the child's intellectual level.

2. Explain to the child that rumors and gossip hurt other children. Put it into terms he will understand by equating the pain to a hurtful experience in his past. For instance, if he fell off his bike and scraped a knee, the scrape would hurt. Tell him that rumors also hurt, only more on the inside than the outside, and that other children could be hurt by a rumor, just as if they'd scraped a knee.

3. Tell the child that keeping a secret is a promise to a friend. Instruct the child to pretend as if he has told his best friend a secret and that friend then told everyone the secret. How would he feel?

4. Give the child an "out" if he hears a rumor so that he can avoid spreading it. Tell him that if his friends begin to gossip, he should walk away or keep whatever he has heard to himself and not to spread it around.

5. Talk with the child about how to deal with rumors that are about him. The child will be hurt and angry that a friend or classmate is spreading a rumor about him. Tell the child not to retaliate by making up a rumor about the other child or by physically harming another child that is spreading the rumor. Instead, tell the child to ignore the rumors and let him know that his real friends will stand by him until the intrigue passes.

6. Avoid gossiping in front of the child. Children learn by example, and when he sees you putting a stop to rumors or telling friends and family members that it is wrong, he will learn to behave similarly and will put a stop to gossip among his friends.

References

• Families: Teaching Kids About Spreading Rumors; Kori Rodley Irons
• It's My Life: Gossip and Rumors: Why Do People Do It?