How to Recover From a Codependent Relationship
A person is in a codependent relationship when she allows another person's destructive behavior to dictate her actions, thoughts or feelings. She often does whatever it takes to make the other person happy and to avoid negative emotions. Catering to destructive behavior only hurts the person who you are trying to help. Covering up the person's problems prevents him from seeking the help he needs. Codependent behavior has adverse effects on you as well. You may have low self-esteem, feel guilty, be depressed or develop health problems. If you are in such a relationship, there are steps you can take to learn how to recover.
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Instructions
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Admit that you are in a codependent relationship. Acknowledge the pain and destruction the codependency has caused. Admission is the first step to your recovery.
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Seek help from a support group or a counselor. Recovery can be difficult if you try to do it alone. A professional counselor or group can help you with the difficult decisions you will have to make.
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Say no to bad behavior. This will be one of the most difficult steps because you are used to accepting the behavior of the other person. The only way to break the cycle is to refuse to excuse bad behavior. Understand that you deserve better and that you don't have to settle for less.
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Allow yourself to feel healthy anger. If you are in a codependent relationship, you excuse behavior rather than responding to it in a healthy way. Realize that it is OK to feel anger if someone disrespects you, hits you or takes advantage of you.
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Surround yourself with friends and family. It is possible that the other person will leave the relationship when you stop allowing her behavior. Friends and family can fill the void and help you not to feel alone.
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Take care of yourself physically, spiritually and emotionally. Eat right and exercise to ensure your physical health. Do whatever will enrich you spiritually and emotionally. You may turn to religion, or use music or meditation.
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Accept what you cannot change. You can only change your own actions and behavior, not the actions or behavior of another. Each person is responsible for his own actions.
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References
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Comments
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Program Director at Second Chance for teens and adults! (626) 392-8669.
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It only will kill your spirit if you allow it to do so. Renew yourself...dangle your feet and legs in the cool water for 15 quiet minutes get your circulation moving. It will be invigorating. Don't smoke during your "me time". Take deep breaths, hold it in and slowly exhale. Clear your mind Amy. Think of nothing but the ripples in the water or envision how it felt to be in Hawaii.....hang loose. ok...time's up. Now you've got to lively up yourself.
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Strees kills! Hair falls out. Break out in hives. High blood pressure. Acceptance is the Answer to All My Problems today. One day at at time. One thing at a Time. Codependant releationships is deadly. Kills the Sprit!
