How to Introduce a New Partner to Children of Divorce

You should get to know your partner really well before introducing him to your children.

A child's reaction to the news that his divorced parent is dating may be positive or negative. Every child is different. Some children of divorce will react negatively because they're hoping that their biological parents will one day reconcile and once again they can be a family. Other children of divorce may be pleased that the divorced parent is dating again because they want her to be happy. If you're dating again after a divorce, you want to think about not only your happiness but the well-being of your children as well.

Instructions

1. Get to know your partner well before you introduce him to your children. Find out if he is okay with dating someone with children. Learn more about his beliefs regarding finances, religion, child-rearing and sexuality to determine whether they match your beliefs and your goals for a long-term relationship.

2. Talk to your children about your partner before the introduction. Allow your children to express their feelings about your new relationship, even if you disagree with them. Also assure them that the new relationship will never replace your relationship with them. Explain that you need to spend time with other adults just as children need to hang out with other children.

3. Give your children time to open up to the new partner. Arrange some activities where you, the partner and the children can interact. Encourage both the partner and your children to ask each other questions during the activities.

References

• Family Education; Dating After Divorce: What It Means for Kids; Katy Abel
• Eharmony.com; Dating, Divorce, and Your Kids; Heather Setrakian
• Family Education: Introducing Your New Significant Other to Your Children